You know that your NBA career hasn’t gone as planned when the opposing commentary crew screws up your identity not once, but twice (not counting all the uncomfortable pauses while they try to figure out who you are and then say the correct name). First he’s Ed Davis, then he’s James Jones. Seriously? Your average…
Read MoreDay: January 15, 2014
Samuel Dalembert 20 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
If you guys want a hint on how to get a start working in the NBA, I’ve got one: apply to be a player’s personal assistant. Nobody wants to take care of these grown-up-yet-still-children players. When my man Fatty D put out an ad for someone to cook and clean for him, I applied immediately….
Read MoreMatt Barnes 25 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
Matt Barnes is a paradox. His existence makes crumble the confining walls of reality to release the whirling vortex of the omni-vacuum. Such a being should not be allowed to exist, for it looks upon the orderly rules of nature and scoffs at them, demeans them in the most obscene way possible. A man cursed…
Read MoreBrandon Knight 26 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
Brandon approached the two chattering cheerleaders as soon as the final buzzer sounded. “Hey, girls, I need a really big favor.” Sarrah and Monique looked over at the player whose made baskets they regularly celebrated during games. After exchanging a glance, Sarrah said, “Sure, Brandon, what’s up?” Brandon looked over to where Kaytee, the target…
Read MoreTobias Harris 22 Points/16 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
I have moved on. I am at peace with my life. I watch Tobias beast with the Magic, and I feel nothing but happiness.
Read MoreTerrence Jones Career High 25 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
Terrence Jones just set an NBA record with three botched and-ones in three attempts during the third quarter against the Pelicans. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Rockets commentators brought something like that up during the telecast of the next game. There is a curious fascination with stats in the sports world, and local NBA…
Read MoreEnes Kanter Career High 25 Points/11 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
It’s true. Turkey is the best country in the world. They have the hottest women, the coolest dudes, the most prestigious history, and an unextinguishable lust for freedom and fairness in government. And don’t forget that modern-day Turkey was also the seat of power for not only the Eastern Roman Empire, but the mighty and…
Read MoreGerald Green 28 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
Gerald Green just absolutely embarrassed Kendall Marshall. Half the clips in this video are of Green abusing Marshall with midrange turnaround jumpers. It was like watching prime Kobe out there. Is this what people were expecting when Gerald was the #1 high-schooler in the country? You also get to see a replay Green hitting his…
Read MoreGreg Oden 6 Points/2 Dunks Heat Debut Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
Greg Oden looked warily down at the ground two stories below him. He and Brandon Roy stood on the roof of Oden’s fancy suburban house, with Oden himself holding a pogo stick. “Yo, Brandon, you sure this is a good idea? Cause it doesn’t feel like a good idea to me.” “Stop being a wimp,…
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