D.J. Augustin might be a pretty good basketball player. Elite free throw shooter, good distributor, and can be counted on to hit threes when necessary. But he’s not the best DJ around.
That would be me.
My beats are off the charts. When I’m spinning my records and mixing on the fly, I have to hire bodyguards so that women don’t rip off my clothes (one could say they’re down to buck). I’m at all the hottest clubs, not only stateside in LA and NYC, but also overseas in the tightest European hotspots – Amsterdam, Stockholm, and Berlin. Brutal dubstep is my game, but I switch it up with soothing trancecore, mind-numbing EBM and frenetic Gabber all in the same set. Dancing to the hardest tracks imaginable, the crowd pumps and undulates beneath my steady gaze. Club owners will do anything they can to get me up on their stages, crafting my gnarly dubs, because they know that when DTB is in the house, the place will be packed to the max. Just one sip from my chalice of beats, and the party gets 10x more redonk.
I would include some of my remixes in my videos, but I’m afraid that people wouldn’t even watch the basketball being played – they would just drown in my off-the-chain electronic soundrealms.
D.J. Augustin isn’t all that. I’m the real thing.