Miroslav Raduljica 11 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2014)

Zaza Pachulia stared disbelievingly at the stopwatch in his hand. “Damn, Miro has 15 minutes to go and he’s already on the snowman portion of the contest.”

Miroslav Raduljica trundled through the snow in front of the Bradley Center, clad in nothing but boxer shorts, assembling a three-tiered snowman as quickly as he could. The half-completed snowman of his teammate Nate Wolters was quickly surpassed in height by the new creation.

“I’d be going faster, too, if Nate didn’t take all the good snow.” he exclaimed as he kicked another can of Miller out of the way, moving with a grace that belied his 7-foot frame.

Soon enough, Raduljica’s snowman was complete. Pachulia stopped the timer and announced the final time. “18 minutes and 34 seconds. Hot damn” Miroslav’s teammates gathered around him to congratulate the first winner of “Milwaukee Miller Madness”.

“That was quite a clinic, Miro.” said Ersan Ilyasova as he patted him on the back. “You downed that 12-pack like it was nothing. Khris could barely drink half.” He motioned over to where Khris Middleton lay face-down in a puddle of his own vomit.

“We no stranger to alcohol in native Serbia. I drink three times that much on regular basis. It help that Miller be piss-water for unrefine American tastes.”

Suddenly Giannis stirred from his similarly prone position in the snow. He struggled to his feet and staggered woozily over to the group, looking much like a drunken stick insect.

“Did Nate finish? Last I saw he was doing pretty good. Before I passed out. Boy it cold.”

Nate Wolters shook his head sadly. “I failed to complete the snowman after downing all those brews. I thought my hardy Minnesota blood would see me through to victory, but alas. It is hard to build a snowman when you can barely see and everything is spinning around you. I need to sit down.” He collapsed onto the snow, seemingly fast asleep.

“For big Serb like me it not problem. Cold has no effect. Where is my prize? Ersan, you said there would be prize.”

Ersan hesitated before speaking. “Uh, well Miroslav, we didn’t really anticipate anyone actually completing ‘Milwaukee Miller Madness’. So, uh, your prize is our admiration?”

“Screw that! I want babes. I want money. Admiration of my teammates is worthless! My work here is done.”

Miroslav lumbered over to where Khris lay. Scooping him up and throwing him over his shoulder, he began walking back to the Bradley Center.

Larry Sanders watched after him. “Damn. Can’t believe that guy actually did it. First time ever. What a man.”

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