February 2014 – Page 2

Greivis Vasquez 26 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/27/2014)

Greivis “Gravy” Vasquez is the second coming of our lord and savior Jose Calderon. He’s a guy that can score and rack up dimes, but his lack of defensive ability stops him from helping his team as much as you think he should. He even has the shoddy-looking “Calderon Beard”. The only real difference between…

Marcin Gortat Career High 31 Points/12 Rebounds/4 Blocks Full Highlights (2/27/2014)

There’s a trend in sports journalism of saying stuff “has an asterisk next to it”. Usually in the context of records or achievements. It means that the accomplishment is inferior or questionable in some way. Barry Bonds’ home run record? Asterisk that crap. Almost any recent baseball record for that matter? Just replace those pages…

MarShon Brooks 14 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2014)

“Thanks for coming in. We just wanted to ask you a couple of questions before we welcome you to the Lakers organization.” Mitch Kupchak sat behind the desk in his expansive office. Next to him on both sides were various cronies and front-office workers. MarShon Brooks, in his best interview suit, awaited the first question….

Diante Garrett Career High 15 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (2/26/2014)

Of the players who currently have negative win-shares this season, here are the top five by minutes played: 1. Tony Wroten 2. Luke Ridnour 3. Phil Pressey 4. Diante Garrett 5. Elliot Williams (John Lucas III is 9th) I’m not saying anything about the accuracy of win-shares. For all I know, it’s a made-up stat…

Will Barton 20 Points/4 Dunks/4 Assists Full Highlights (2/26/2014)

Will Barton closed his eyes. He knew that he had looked through his mortal eyes for the last time, but the thought did not distress him. There was more waiting for him on the other side of reality’s mirror. The corporeal form of his body was whisked away in an instant, taken by the Star-Reaper…

Jerryd Bayless 29 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2014)

Jerryd Bayless has not been everything Celtics fans hoped for when they traded Courtney Lee for him. He’s had some okay games, sure, but for the most part he hasn’t provided the scoring punch that the Celtics desired. Maybe he just needs to start. Tonight was his first start as a Celtic, and he took…

Archie Goodwin Career High 16 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2014)

Archie Goodwin is an unknown for me. I don’t think I’ve watched him play at all this year until now. So rather than insulting your intelligence by drawing conclusions on his game based on stats, I will simply refrain from mentioning anything other than what he did this game. He can dunk. And shoot threes….

Trevor Ariza 22 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (2/25/2014)

Trevor Ariza is having a career year in terms of not sucking. His three-point shooting, which was absent at the beginning of his career and iffy more recently, has been very good this year. Is this just a case of a guy taking a decade to figure it out, or are there other factors at…

Kent Bazemore Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2014)

Kent Bazemore is the luckiest guy on Earth. Well, maybe not the luckiest. I’m using an advanced literary device called “hyperbole”. Obviously there are lots of people who are luckier. Like lottery winners and people with big muscles. Anyway, Kent Bazemore is one fortuitous dude. He was getting almost no time with the Warriors, and…