The Detroit Pistons are one of the biggest dumpster fires in the NBA. Pretty much nothing has gone right for them except that Drummond looks pretty good. But other than that, disappointment all around. It’s not like we didn’t all see this coming. They have a seemingly talented roster but there is no coherency. No…
Read MoreMonth: March 2014
Michael Beasley 16 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2014)
The Heat are continuing their strategy of not playing Michael Beasley to save him for the playoffs, letting him play decent minutes only occasionally to make sure he stays hot. At least, I think that’s what they’re doing. It’s hard to tell for sure. It fits in with the “Heat don’t really try during the…
Read MoreTyler Zeller Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2014)
Tyler Zeller: least disappointing Zeller brother? Let’s do a rundown. Cody Zeller has shown no ability to score outside the paint despite his new and improved jumper being one of his selling points in the draft. High basketball IQ? People only say that because he’s white. Anthony Bennett has deflected lots of the negative attention…
Read MoreLuke Babbitt 11 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (3/21/2014)
Luke “Babbers” Babbitt might have the ugliest haircut in the NBA. Actually, it’s a tie between him and Andrei Kirilenko; both have the “hair helmet” thing going, and both of them look stupid. News flash: it’s not the 60’s anymore, half the Beatles are dead, and mod fashion is no longer what’s “in”. Now, if…
Read MoreShelvin Mack 18 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (3/21/2014)
Shelvin “Mackaroni and Cheese” Mack almost defies description. I’m struggling to come up with a good analogy for his play style. The closest I’ve got is comparing him to his namesake pasta dish, macaroni and cheese. Shelvin’s scoring ability is the noodles, the main attraction. Without the scoring-noodles, nobody would even want to eat this…
Read MoreGreivis Vasquez 21 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2014)
Let us have a moment of silence for John Salmons, may god help his soul. Yes, the Raptors’ loss to the Thunder last night was not a fun occurrence for our Canadian friends. Several Raptors had good individual performances, but does it really matter when Kevin Durant takes you behind the Air Canada Centre and…
Read MoreAvery Bradley Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2014)
What if I told you that there was an NBA player who scored eighteen points in a quarter despite having an odd-looking jumpshot? Would you believe me? I wouldn’t believe me if I was told that. Do not doubt anymore, peons! Avery Bradley is that player, and what we have is visual evidence of his…
Read MoreJorge Gutierrez 10 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2014)
With Gustavo Ayon out for the rest of forever due to drinking the water in Mexico, Mexican NBA fans need a new object to direct their nationalistic fervor upon. Is that object Jorge Gutierrez? Yes. There’s no other choice. Mexican nationalistic fervor is renowned for being very intense. If it is not released onto Mexican…
Read MoreAmar’e Stoudemire 22 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (3/21/2014)
That fat lady is still up there, singing her heart out. Amar’e Stoudemire still has something to offer a team. Is that team the Knicks? Probably. His unique skillset of not playing defense and getting hot once every other game is well suited to the Knicks. If he got traded to, say, a contender, they…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 11 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/20/2014)
In order to better understand the struggles that Giannis Antetokounmpo undertook in order to come to the USA to play basketball, I have uprooted my entire life and am now living in Greece. You may now call me by my Greek name, ΦθψηΤθβμξκ. The main difference between my and Giannis’ situations is that he is…
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