Jonas Valanciunas 22 Points Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Jonas sat silently in his darkened living room, watching the flickering television with rapt attention. In front of him was spread a feast suitable for the viewing of a season finale, but since the final episode of “How I Met Your Mother” had started, none of the snacks had been touched. Mango smoothies and pretzel rods alike were uneaten as the large Lithuanian took in what he knew would be the last minutes of his favorite TV show.

As revelation after revelation came from the mouths of the actors, Jonas grew more restive. None of it was happening as he had hoped it would. Still, he stuck it out, knowing that the ending would all be worth it, would justify the years he had spent skipping practice to watch this show. The loose ends would be tied exactly as he envisioned.

Then, it was over.

“Ted…and ROBIN!? Are you kidding me!?” Jonas yelled, throwing the comfy blanket off and standing up to yell at the TV, in the process disturbing the can of Old Milwaukee that had been sitting on the armrest. “Nine years of stringing me along, and we get this? I suppose I deserve it for watching this American-produced filth!”

As Arvydas, his cat, wandered over to inspect the spilled beer, Jonas continued, “If I could only get Lithuanian TV here in Canada, then I could be watching the thirteenth season of “Gabija ir Remigijus: Meilė dėl Amžinybės!” He stomped to his fridge to grab a replacement beer, chugging it quickly as if the subpar beverage would wash the nasty taste of Ted and Robin’s relationship out of his mouth. “They spent the entire series telling us it wasn’t going to happen, then they turn around and take a big dump right into our willing mouths!” he lamented to his empty kitchen. “A big, nasty dump!”

Walking over to his computer, Jonas sat down and typed into Google “Gabija ir Remigijus watch online full free season 13”. After thirty pages of irrelevant, spammy results, Jonas closed the browser window and put his head in his hands. Like all his past attempts, he was unable to figure out how to watch his favorite Lithuanian show online. He would just have to wait for the DVD release.

“I hate Robin. What a shallow, poorly-developed character,” he mumbled. “Ted deserves better. We all do.”

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