Tiago Splitter 14 Points Full Highlights (4/26/2014)

It is a well-known fact that nobody knows what ethnicity Manu Ginobili is. But what about his teammate Tiago Splitter? Splitter is allegedly from Brazil, which would make him Mexican. However, he definitely looks European. He also has a similar skin tone to Ginobili, who is Argentine but is otherwise of indeterminate racial background. So that doesn’t help. It also doesn’t help that some people refer to all foreign-born players as “euros”, even if they aren’t. Stop confusing me!

Unlike certain people who claim (falsely) that Venezuela is a country, I know for sure that Brazil is down there somewhere. I looked up pictures of Brazilian people and they are all Mexican, but none of them look like Splitter. I also, on a hunch, looked up Polish people, and they look more like Splitter, but if Splitter was Polish, he would have been born in Poland, not Brazil. Unless, maybe, his parents went on vacation to Brazil and gave birth to him there? And then they left him there because he was an “accident”?

It’s confirmed. Tiago Splitter is an abandoned Polish orphan born in Brazil and raised by indigenous Amazonian peoples.

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