Gary Neal 16 Points Full Highlights (4/28/2014)

Gary Neal relaxed in his Charlotte apartment. The season was over, the playoffs had passed, and there were no daemonic avatars tormenting his thoughts and offering advice on shot-selection. The trade from Milwaukee had done wonders for his mental health. His team may not have won, but he got to put up a bunch of shots, and that was all that mattered.

He pulled out his iPad and began to browse YouTube. He loved nothing more than to watch highlight videos of basketball players long retired. Searching idly, he happened on a curiously titled video. “Wilt Chamberlain 100 Points Full Highlights”. “Damn, I guess they found that long lost footage or whatever, I gotta watch this” he thought as he tapped the screen and eagerly began to watch.

But all didn’t seem right. The video was of horrible quality; it was unclear if a basketball game was even being depicted. Wilt should have stood out easily, but there was nothing but blurs. Gary squinted and brought the device closer to his face. Suddenly, a face appeared on the screen, a face he had hoped never to see again, a face he had though gone forever. “AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

“Come on now, Gary, that’s not how to greet an old friend!”

“I thought you was gone! You left when I forced my way out of Milwaukee, just like you did!”

The face of Stephen Jackson laughed. “I never left, Gary. I was merely observing. I felt that my ethereal presence was causing you more harm than good, and that was certainly never my intent. I was glad to see you chuck your way out of the rotation, and then out of the Bucks’ team altogether, just as I did, in my mortal days.”

“So what’s the deal? You gonna haunt me some mo’ now? I did everything you asked. I chucked. I pouted. I was a team cancer. My team made it to the playoffs and in the deciding game I jacked 19 game-losing shots! I was S-Jax reincarnated!”

“Yes, I saw. A very impressive performance. You have come far from your days with the Spurs. I just came back to say that this will be my last appearance. I now have more pressing matters to attend to.”

“You mean more pressing than haunting poor old Gary Neal?”

“There’s that word again. ‘Haunting’. Such negative connotations. I really prefer the term ‘Visitation’. And yes, much more pressing. You may have heard the recent comments by one Donald Sterling. That poor sonofabitch thought he signed me, back in December. Yes, he signed my earthly form, but as you probably saw, it was not very useful when its soul-cavity was vacant. He’s gonna get the real S-Jax as soon as I am done here. Which is about now. Farewell Gary!”

The iPad in Gary’s hands shut off in blaze of sparks and smoke, which quickly dissipated, leaving behind no trace of the unearthly events which had transpired. Just as Gary was beginning to relax again, barely daring to believe his good fortune, the ghostly visage returned to the screen. Before he could scream again, it spoke for the last time.

“Almost forgot. Fuk yo team.” There was a pause as the image flashed a toothy grin.

“Clown.”

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