Jonas Valanciunas opened his desk drawer and rummaged through the assorted documents until he found what he was looking for: a crumpled, stained sheet of plain notebook paper. At the top of page was found the title, “Kill List”.
The large Lithuanian scanned down the list of names, a list which encompassed all of the power forwards and centers in the NBA. Many of the names were already crossed off, having been previously “killed” earlier in the season. Jonas looked at some of them and couldn’t help but reminisce on how thoroughly, how violently, how effortlessly he had “killed” them.
Finding Mason Plumlee’s name on the list, he drew an unsteady line through it with a ballpoint pen. Plumlee truly had stood no chance.
Next, he located Mirza Teletovic. Jonas had shown no mercy while cleanly dispatching the Bosnian sharpshooter. Again, Teletovic had put up almost no fight whatsoever. It was almost pathetic.
Finally, Jonas found the name of the man who he had been most eager to “kill”. The man who had taunted him, and many others, since he had entered the league. His name was crossed off the list.
Nobody would miss Kevin Garnett. Smiling to himself, Jonas placed the list back in his desk drawer, already looking forward to the next time he would have to take it out.