Consider this to be a sneak preview of my “DeAndre Jordan All 279 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-15 Season Dunkilation)” video, which will hopefully be coming towards your network interface card somewhere around June. There is nothing here but dunks. There are no free-throws (DeAndre missed the two that he tried). There are no layups (DeAndre didn’t try any). There are no jumpshots. If you thought there were going to be jumpshots in this video, 1. you didn’t read the title/you did read the title but are bad at math, and 2. have no idea who DeAndre Jordan is. Just like my upcoming Dunkilation, this video does away with the less-interesting aspects of the game of basketball, leaving only a pure, unsullied lesson in dunkology.
What I’m really mad about is the lack of replayage on TNT’s broadcast. I need phantom cam views of every dunk. I don’t care how much of Reggie Miller’s blathering you need to cut out, we need closeups of sweaty man-bodies soaring through the air like a glorious eagle.