His phone made the characteristic “new text” sound. Not even looking down at his phone, he knew what it was going to be: another one of his teammates wondering why he wasn’t at the New Year’s Eve party with the rest of them. He had already told them that he was still recovering from injury;…
Read MoreMonth: December 2014
Markieff Morris 25 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
One of my fears with the new year is that I’ll accidentally type “2014” instead of “2015” in the title of all my videos. It’s not a problem today, since I’m still doing yesterday’s games, but starting tomorrow, I’m going to be one erroneous digit from a total mental breakdown. It’s going to be months…
Read MoreManu Ginobili 26 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
Manu has still got it! Stop talking about when he should retire. He’ll retire when he damn well pleases, on his own terms. He can do all the things on the court that he ever could, even now. I’m talking, of course, about his flopping game. You would think that his arm-flailing ability would decrease…
Read MoreJimmer Fredette 14 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
The Pelicans’ coach, Monty Williams, said before the season that Jimmer Fredette had the green light. Was he just screwing with us? That was a weird thing to say, normally an underperformer like Jimmer wouldn’t be given carte blanche to shoot any shot he wanted on a new team. And he hasn’t. So why did…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
We deviate from regularly scheduled programming to deliver this important news bulletin: The Bucks ran a significant amount of offense through Giannis in the high post. This may be a better use of his talents then the ill-fated “make him a point guard” experiment. He’s tall enough and has good enough instincts to make good…
Read MoreLeandro Barbosa 17 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
Does Leandro Barbosa not totally look like Charles Barkley? He totally does. Just look at the thumbnail: it’s like I’m watching Inside the NBA and he and Kenny are sniping at each other and Shaq is just sitting there being awkward. Anyway, yeah, Leandro Barbosa. He can still score the rock a bit, and he…
Read MoreKyle Korver 19 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
The moniker “Spurs of the East” is tired and lame. Nobody wants to hear that lame stuff anymore. I have devised a new, bold moniker for the Hawks that perfectly encompasses the teamwork and ball movement that make up their system: “Hawksketball”. Stop laughing. You’re stupid. This is a good idea, and when I start…
Read MoreJrue Holiday 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
The Pelicans are making me look stupid. I keep saying that they’re a dark horse for the WCF, but they’re always hovering around .500 and they’re going to be lucky to sneak into the playoffs. What needs to happen is for Anthony Davis to break out even further than he has already broken. It would…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 23 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
“This is a good idea. It’s economically viable and it’s fully in tune with the demands of the market,” Marreese Speights said in his best “fancy” voice, sitting in a suit across from a banker who was also wearing a suit. He slid a folder of papers across the desk. “My business plan is flawless,…
Read MoreHenry Sims 19 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
How horrible does your team have to be for your commentators not to say anything after one of your players gets an and-one dunk? Sure, the Sixers were down by thirty-something, but Sims just came rumbling down the lane and packed it on Kuzmic. That’s awesome no matter how many points you’re losing by. The…
Read More