Donatas Motiejunas 16 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2015)

I’m sure the Houston Rockets don’t have a problem with attendance these days, but I have an idea to spice up the somewhat homogenous basketball action on display:

Lithuanian Heritage Night!

It’s perfect: Donatas Motiejunas is Lithuanian, a country people don’t know anything about, so it fulfills the dual roles of enlightenment and fun! Replace the national anthem with “Tautiška giesmė” for starters. Get some famous Lithuanian pop star to sing it, maybe Linas Adomaitis? Someone like that anyway. After he’s done, have D-Mo say some stuff about how sweet Lithuania is and how he likes America too but not as much.

Then replace all the concessions with traditional Lithuanian delicacies. I don’t know exactly what those would be, so if they wanted to do Polish food instead it would probably be about the same.

The cheerleaders would have to be upgraded as well. Import the finest Lithuanian hotties for a good time during halftime and timeouts. Hot chicks are hot no matter where they’re from, so, again, you could probably use Polish ones in a pinch. Maybe get yellow, green, and red stuff to put all over the place to provide a nice backdrop for the ladies? The Rockets already have the red and yellow down, just cover them in mown grass to complete the look.

There’s doubtlessly more stuff they could do to celebrate the glorious culture of Lithuania, this is just a starting point. Rockets arena people, if you are reading this, I am charging a very reasonable fee for consultation. Get in touch.

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