In honor of March Madness and the glorification of the ideal of Men’s college basketball, I present to you highlights of the player most representative of those ideals: Tyler Hansbrough.
Tyler embodies many tenets of the NCAA system: toughness, leadership, coachability, sacrifice. Or something. He’s also white. Very white. These highflying black players, they don’t know what the game is really about: making layups under the basket. The NBA is a freak show of disgusting mutants who don’t have a fundamental bone in their body. Hansbrough is a being composed entirely of fundamentals, a detriment in today’s razzle-dazzle highlight factory pro league.
After all, basketball, in its purest form, is meant to be ugly. Thank you, Tyler Hansbrough, for carrying the ugly flame through the ugly night.