March 2015 – Page 3

Adreian Payne 14 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2015)

Here’s something that really sucks if you’re a highlight maker like me: when a player (Adreian Payne) has a really sick dunk, but there isn’t a dead-ball situation (prime replay showing time, for those not in the know) before a different player (Andrew Wiggins) has another replay-worthy play. Then the replay finally comes and guess…

Jordan Clarkson 18 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/29/2015)

Good work, Lakers’ front office! Grabbing a player as productive as Jordan Clarkson out of the second round will only hasten your rebuild. When Kevin Love comes to town after this year is over, he will certainly enjoy playing with Clarkson. Russell Westbrook will as well, the year after that. Imagine if you didn’t have…

Furkan Aldemir 11 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2015)

I have not detected much excitement around the league for Furkan “Motherfurker” Aldemir. Come on people. He’s foreign! There’s supposed to be a never-silent contingent of Turkish fans hyping him at every turn. Maybe hype is reserved for players who are either good right now or could be good in the future. Furkan, well, just…

Gigi Datome 12 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2015)

Despite the fresh loss, only a few hours old, to the visiting Clippers, the mood in the Olive Garden was exuberant. “This was a great suggestion, Gigi. God damn, I love these frickin’ breadsticks!” shouted Jared Sullinger through mouthfuls of half-chewed bread. He held up two of the free item and waved them excitedly. “I…

Dennis Schröder 17 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2015)

It has been proved conclusively that Dënniß ßchrööder can be a legit starter. In the other eight games that the Shredder started, the Hawks won. This was the only game where he started and they lost, but I can explain that one away by pointing out that the entire starting five was resting. It’s actually…

Jameer Nelson 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2015)

After being on the same team for ten seasons, Jameer Nelson has been on three different teams this season, none of them being his original team. I’m not usually one to get sentimental about player transactions and feelings and stuff, but that’s sad AF. Jameer was probably beloved in Orlando, but his body isn’t getting…

Nikola Mirotic 24 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2015)

I like to imagine Nikola Mirotic’s beard as a little black kitty all curled up on his face who purrs whenever he makes a shot.

Kent Bazemore 20 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2015)

I was kind of fooled by Kent Bazemore’s good performances with the Lakers last year. I should have known better than to think that he’s anything more than a guy you submerge in the deepest end of the bench, only to be revived in dire circumstances. Dire circumstances which apparently include “Hawks coaching staff hubristically…

Mike Muscala Career High 18 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (3/28/2015)

Highlights of Mike Muscala’s career high 18 points! Everybody go home, this channel’s mission is officially complete. I don’t see where there is to go from here. Mike Muscala scoring 18 points is pretty much the epitome of highlight-making, the Everest of field-goal-compilation. Any video created after this will only be notable in that it…

Tayshaun Prince 23 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2015)

Is it just me, or is Tayshaun Prince getting whiter? Not talking about his mannerisms or playing style here; it’s like his skin is actually losing pigmentation as he makes his one-way journey through time. I could make a Michael Jackson joke, but it wouldn’t be very funny. Doesn’t matter, anyway. The passing of the…