Nerlens Noel stood outside the bedroom. Inside, his lover was awaiting. He thought about all the advice that Luc Richard Mbah a Moute had given him, tried to recall it to the forefront of his mind, now, when he needed it the most.
“Where are you, Luc?” Nerlens whispered in the dimmed hallway. But his mentor was far away from this place, far away from his protege’s need. He remembered the last words that Luc had told him:
“You’ve learned well. You no longer have need of my advice. Remember: they go everywhere. Except for the one place which we have talked about.”
“Everywhere,” Nerlens muttered. It was time. He opened the door.
To someone waiting inside the room, it would have been a very strange sight indeed: an extremely tall and lanky black man with hair to match standing in the doorway, seemingly naked except for the condoms covering nearly every square inch of his body. Condoms on the fingers, condoms on the toes, two on each ear, one on the nose, countless condoms dangling from his chest and back, condoms everywhere except for one important place.
“Bae, are you sure…” Moniqua, lying naked among the bedsheets, began.
“Yes, I’m sure. We’ve been through this, remember? No little Nerlens runnin’ around,” Nerlens replied in the most sultry way possible, as he clambered into the bed and began to caress.
Moniqua pushed him off. “This is crazy, bae! Crazy!”
Nerlens was undeterred. “What’s crazy is how sexy you look tonight…” as he continued his advances.
Moniqua pushed his hands away again, and stood up. “No! This isn’t right, Nerlens! I’ve been doing some research, and I’m almost positive now that the condoms go on your thing!”
Nerlens stood up as well, annoyed. “No way, that’s not what Luc said, remember what Luc said?”
“He said they go on the fingers bae, not all over your entire body! But he…”
“Better safe than sorry,” Nerlens interrupted.
“He was wrong, Nerlens, he was wrong about me not having a hole, and he’s wrong about the condoms, and he’s wrong about the whole damn thing, Nerlens! He took you for a ride Nerlens, a stupid ride that you were stupid enough to get on and ride to the god-damn end! I’m done. See you never again, freak!”
She gathered up her clothes and left the bedroom, slamming the door behind her as Nerlens got one last look at her prominent behind. The candles on the end table, meant to be romantic, suddenly seemed oppressive in their brightness. He swept them on to the floor, casting the room in total darkness.
“I really need your advice now, Luc,” he muttered sadly as he began plucking condoms off his body.