Derrick Favors 25 Points/7 Blocks Full Highlights (11/12/2015)

I’m thinking you guys must just take all your meals at fast-food establishments, or maybe your mom still cooks for you, because these frickin’ cookbooks are not frickin’ moving. I should have known better than to market a “Flavors of Favors” cookbook to a bunch of neckbearded NBA fans who have never cooked a meal in their god-damn lives.

That’s the only explanation, because the quality of these things is grade-A. Only the finest printer paper with only the highest resolution black-and-white images of delicious southern-inspired cooking. Bound with only the finest twine, or, for five extra smackers, actual spiral binding.

Let me repeat myself: SPIRAL BINDING.

I risked life and limb breaking into the copy shop to get these things bound for you guys, and this is how you repay me? I’ve got a stack of 99 of these masterpieces of modern American cookery just sitting next to my computer, waiting to be purchased. It’s been years since I came out with these babies, and you know what? I’m glad they’re not selling. If NBA fans can’t understand the greatness of “Derrick’s Cajun Crawdad Cheesecake”, then they don’t deserve the cookbook. Enjoy your ramen, losers.

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