I’m done waiting. I want Jabari Parker to be a beast right now, I don’t want to have to deal with this pesky “winning games” business. How is he supposed to be a beast if he can’t even just take the ball and shoot it whenever he wants? Andrew Wiggins didn’t have to deal with…
Read MoreDay: November 30, 2015
Serge Ibaka 17 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
I must apologize to Serge Ibaka. I have, up to this point in the season, utterly failed to give him the recognition he deserves in the form of individual highlight videos. Here is a complete list of videos that I failed to make: -18 points/5 blocks on November 1 -17 points on November 5 -23…
Read MoreAron Baynes 11 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
Aron Baynes AKA “The Big Baynger” AKA “Masturbaynestion” fills a valuable role for the Pistons: he’s a big man who can hit free throws. This means that Baynes gets to enter the game whenever SVG decides the Drummond’s free throw woes are hurting the team. As a bonus, both Baynes and Drummond have the same…
Read MoreAndre Drummond 24 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
Does anyone know how to start one of those online petitions where if you get enough signatures the White House has to issue a statement about the problem or whatever? Because it’s time that Andre Drummond started shooting free throws underhand. Obama might be the only one who can force him to do it. It’s…
Read MoreDerrick Favors 23 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
Oh, wow. Tough loss, Jazz fans. Really thought you might be able to pull that one out. Will make a great section for the Warriors’ championship DVD, at least. In light of this tragic defeat, it is time to partition blame! Yes, that will make us feel better. Let me get my sceptre of blame-partitioning….
Read MoreIan Clark 12 Points/6 Minutes Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
Here’s a little tidbit that will really cook your ramen: Without the perfect shooting of Ian Clark, the Warriors would have lost tonight’s game, ending their winning streak. Ian Clark scored 12 points. Golden State won by 3. You do the math. It’s not hard. Here’s the flavor packet, in this case, shrimp flavor: Ian…
Read MoreStanley Johnson 19 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
Stanley Johnson: Rookie of the Year candidate? In strict compliance with Betteridge’s law of headlines, the answer is no. But don’t fret, Pistons fans! Or do, but not because Stanley isn’t a ROY frontrunner. Fret over Andre Drummond’s free throw woes, if you must. Back to the point. Stanley Johnson is playing pretty well by…
Read MoreAvery Bradley 25 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
I’m so done with Brian Scalabrine as a commentator. If you can look past the blinding glare of his novelty as a player, you’ll find a guy who sounds like he’s yelling all the time while saying his rambling former-player thoughts that go nowhere. I think I like Heinsohn better. Yes, I said it. Count…
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