Lately DownToBuck has been trying to expand his emerging “Flavors of Favors” brand. Cookbooks must be a low-growth sector or something because I made all these Flavors of Favors cookbooks and guess what, they’re all sitting around in piles in my bedroom. The same marketing that has gotten me 28,000 subscribers apparently can’t even sell one damn book of recipes. Good recipes, I might add.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from running this channel, it’s that people enjoy watching videos. It doesn’t even have to be basketball videos. Any kind of videos will work. You make a video, people will watch it. It’s that simple. A simple fact for a simple-minded populace.
Armed with this knowledge, I just finished the first pilot episode of my new “Flavors of Favors” cooking show! I really tried hard to line up Derrick himself to be the one cooking all the food, but he ignored all my tweets and my instogrammers or whatever they’re called, so what I did is I found a tall black guy at the local YMCA and had him cook the food while constantly referring to himself as “Derrick Favors”.
When the Food Network starts paying me millions of dollars to produce this show, then I can get the real Derrick. But this will work for now.
I don’t have the money for a real camera but I have a phone with a camera in it, so that was no problem. I don’t want to brag, but I’ve gotten pretty good at editing videos. A cooking show is like nothing to me. Boom Boom Grits with Savory Favory Flavory Sauce was a little challenging for my actor, though. I don’t honestly know if he’d ever cooked before. He needed a lot of help making some of Derrick’s recipes.
But it’s a pilot so it doesn’t matter that the food was actually inedible. I had to throw it all out. But I did include some clips where my actor takes a big mouthful of the gross slop he’s just made and goes “mmmmmmmmm ohhhhhhh” like it’s exotic Russian caviar or something. He was a little ticked that I made him do that but I’m like, hey, it’s your fault that you can’t cook for balls.
Right now I’m just posting the link to the pilot on every Food Network video I can find. I think that’s the way they find new shows. If that doesn’t work I’ll just mail a DVD to their corporate headquarters once I find somebody who knows how to burn a DVD.
Things are looking up for Mr. DownToBuck.