February 2016 – Page 11

Zach LaVine 22 Points/0 Free-Throw-Line Dunks Full Highlights (2/19/2016)

You can argue the merits of both finalists in this year’s dunk contest. Zach LaVine, Aaron Gordon, they were both good to me, they both threw down some great dunks, maybe someone else should have won, blah blah blah, who cares. It’s over now. There are more pressing matters to discuss. For example: what ancient…

Brandon Jennings 18 Points Magic Debut Full Highlights (2/19/2016)

Just call me Nostrabuckus. A mere three weeks ago, I wrote these words in a description on a Brandon Jennings video: “The time has come to find a new team for Brandon Jennings.” Not only did I successfully predict that he would be traded, I also correctly presaged his destination and got most of the…

Doug McDermott Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)

Doug McDermott opened his eyes. He could see nothing but an indistinct gray-white haze. He reached up to rub his eyes, but found once he removed his hands that the haze remained the same. He could feel himself lying on some kind of surface, but once he picked himself up off of it, he found…

Tobias Harris 21 Points Pistons Debut Full Highlights (2/19/2016)

It is confirmed: Scott Skiles HATES Tobias Harris. People on the internet were trying to tell me that he didn’t. Soundbites released to the media were telling me that he didn’t. I even placed hidden microphones all up in the Magic practice facilities, and while Skiles never, that I heard, explicitly said “I hate you,…

Tristan Thompson 16 Points Full Highlights (2/18/2016)

I drowsily scroll through the list of individual player performances on Basketball-Reference, searching in vain for highlight-worthy statlines. There having been just three games the previous night, I know that there will not be much for me to choose from, but even I am surprised by the paucity of decently-performing role-players. The unexpected ringing of…

Marcin Gortat 22 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (2/18/2016)

The All-Star break gets longer every year. When I started doing these videos, I think it was only about a weeklong break from normal basketball. It’s been creeping up over time, to the point where, this year, it was a whole three-and-a-half MONTHS without regular-season action. What are the players even doing during all that…

Khris Middleton 27 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2016)

Is there any doubt any more that Khris Middleton is currently the Bucks’ best player? He’s added a small amount of playmaking ability to his game, a game which already included things like scoring, defending, and looking like an alien. If he managed to score twenty points per game he would probably be an All-Star,…

Archie Goodwin 20 Points Full Highlights (2/10/2016)

Archie Goodwin lay in bed, unable to sleep. His confrontation with Markieff Morris during a timeout was replaying over and over again in his mind. Restlessly, he sat up and composed a text message, knowing that its recipient would doubtlessly be awake as well… http://imgur.com/NQBelKy

Lou Williams 28 Points Full Highlights (2/10/2016)

I don’t know why everybody has to be all sad about Kobe retiring. The Lakers already have another Kobe waiting in the wings for when the real Kobe is no longer around to do his Kobe things all over the court. I’m talking, of course, about the Kobelicious one himself, Lou Williams. He can dominate…

Maurice Harkless 19 Points Full Highlights (2/10/2016)

The ESPN-provided commentator for this game can’t stop talking about the potential that Moe Harkless allegedly possesses. I think this happened once before for a national game. It was probably the same guy. On that occasion, the commentator brought up St. John’s at least twice and in general seemed to have an enormous boner for…