OFFICIALS WAYS TO PRONOUNCE MARQUESE CHRISS’ FIRST NAME POWER RANKINGS 1. Mar-queasy 2. Mar-queece 3. Mar-cheese 4. Mar-quizz 5. M’-arr-queeze 6. Mar-keece 7. Mark-say 8. Mar-coo-ease 9. Mare-quayse 10. Tyrus Thomas
Read MoreMonth: November 2016
Tomas Satoransky 12 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
No John Wall, no Bradley Beal, no problem! Well, actually, the Wizards lost, so I guess it was a problem, but maybe not as big of a problem as you would expect! Small victories! Tomas Satoransky (depicted) and Sheldon McClellan (pending) are just as good basically. 15 for McClellan is pretty much what Beal scores…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 18 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
These are not the quality of highlights I expected when I saw “Buddy Hield” in the boxscore with a little “18” in the points column. I knew he didn’t make many threes, but I was anticipating an avalanche of swaggy midrange jumpers in their stead. I hope you like layups. I mean, there’s nothing inherently…
Read MoreAndre Roberson 13 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
Remember when everybody got hyped for Andre Roberson in last year’s playoffs because he was actually scoring points? They were all like, “Haha yeah Roberson’s playing really well, haha, we’re just pretending that the Thunder wouldn’t be way better if they had somebody at his position who could score.” Actually, that’s an unfair characterization. The…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 19 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
Listen, Kelly, I know it’s cool to have a beard now. Look at a magazine, watch a TV show, hell, just walk around town, you’re gonna see tons of dudes with beards of all styles, and they look great. It’s in to have little fibers growing on the lower half of your face. It’s hip….
Read MoreNik Stauskas 14 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
Are 76ers fans still really pissed that Nik Stauskas even made the team? I feel like I saw a bunch of angry social media posts after the last player (Cat Barber maybe?????) was cut and Sucksass remained. Oh yeah, I wasn’t gonna use that nickname for him anymore. My bad. Anyway, I felt like it…
Read MoreJoel Embiid 25 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
OFFICIAL THINGS THAT DTB HATES IN HIGHLIGHT VIDEOS POWER RANKINGS 1. Too many free throws 2. Lame assists from non-PGs 3. Replays of things that aren’t replay worthy 4. Extended shots of individual crowd members 5. DeMar DeRozan 6. Post-ups that take too long 7. Too many layups —POWER GAP— 9001. Joel Embiid not shooting…
Read MoreE’Twaun Moore 20 points Full Highlights (11/10/2016)
So I keep sending invoices to E’Twaun Moore for my “personal brand development consulting” fees, and he keeps on not paying them. So I’m going to put him on blast, right here, right now. Full blast. Mr. Moore, pay your damn invoices. I don’t think $250,000 is even that much, all things considered. I spent…
Read MoreJabari Parker 33 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2016)
Okay. Okay. Try to control your breathing. Don’t freak out. DON’T FREAK OUT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO FREAK OUT! Okay. Deep breaths. Okay. We got this. Just state the facts without losing control. Stay totally calm and collected. Come on DTB. You can do this man. Just type the description and don’t lose it….
Read MoreJosh Richardson 16 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2016)
Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that we were reading about how Josh Richardson tore one of those *CL thingies in his knee? I swear I remember feeling kind of sad for him, and not because Dwyane Wade abandoned him. It was the sad feeling you get when you think about how human suffering…
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