“There she goes again. Jennifer,” the pimply, overweight high school sophomore said in a dreamy voice as the object of his unconfessed adoration walked by with her group of friends. “Man, Nick, you got it bad,” said the boy’s friend, whose name was Dan. “Every time she walks by, you forget to keep chewing and…
Read MoreDay: December 3, 2016
Wilson Chandler 24 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
Just give Wilson Chandler the 6MOTY trophy right now. Just give it to him. He’s leading his team in scoring while coming off the bench. That’s as close to a lock on the award as you can get. Carve his name into it or whatever it is you need to to to get it ready,…
Read MoreLucas Nogueira 13 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
After this perfect five-for-five shooting display, Lucas Nogueira is now shooting 74% on the season as the primary backup center for the Northern Dinos. With a few more attempts, that will be approaching prime (Mavs-era) Brandan Wright territory, and we all know that “prime Brandan Wright” is what every skinny young big should be striving…
Read MoreDarrun Hilliard 11 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
I silently sneak past the guard station at the entrance to the NBA’s video archive. Inside the small structure the guard himself is a sleep, his helmet pulled over his eyes and his assault rifle dangling by its strap on the back of his chair. By doing deep packet sniffing on their unencrypted wireless communications,…
Read MoreTaj Gibson 23 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
I’m fully aware that Taj “Taj Maball” Gibson had five assists in the game just as you’re fully aware that I probably am not going to show them in this highlight video. One thing I’ve learned in the course of making thousands of highlight videos is that big man assists are the worst assists out…
Read MoreSam Dekker 17 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
DownToBuck as a rule does not divulge too much personal information about himself. The main two things that have been established are that I am white and I am from Wisconsin. Imagine my delight when I discovered that I would be able to make a highlight video featuring someone similarly pigmented and with a like…
Read MoreNorman Powell 16 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
I’m so happy that Norman Powell got the start tonight for the Raptors. It’s great! My brain is producing so many happy chemicals. God. Absolutely ecstatic right now. Really really great. I can’t imagine being happier. Only one problem. There’s this guy on the Raptors, they drafted him a few years ago, and they’ve been…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 17 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
Another game, another puzzling Atlanta Hawks loss. Bob Rathbun and Dominique Wilkins don’t seem to be taking it very well. Rathbun has already freaked himself out by thinking about the Chapecoense plane crash too much (mentioning something about how easily it could happen to them in his commentary for last game), and Wilkins is always…
Read MoreNemanja Bjelica 17 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
We all suspected it at the time, but now our thoughts are confirmed: Nemanja Bjelica’s 24 point outburst a few weeks ago was nothing more than a mirage, a random aligning of the planets to produce a far above average scoring output. It wasn’t an indicator of Nemanja turning a corner, or getting more confident,…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 20 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
Kyle “Irish Black Santa” O’Quinn, once upon a time, drew the ire of the Knicks fanbase for not being nearly as good as they had hoped when they signed him. Like, they weren’t happy at all. He was touted as being a stretch-four type after a semi-successful final year in Orlando, then came in and…
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