The Spurs somehow came back from 28 points down against the Kings while not being able to utilize the services of LaMarcus Aldridge (“fake star”) and Kawhi Leonard (“real star”). Having not watched the game or even any highlights from the game, I have made a power rankings of probable causes for the Spurs’ spirited comeback and the Kings’ utter collapse:
1. It’s the Kings
2. It’s the Spurs
3. Manu Ginobili turning back the clock
4. Ty Lawson being an alkie
5. Arena air conditioning malfunction resulting in cramps
6. Ever-present spirit of Tim Duncan inhabiting every Spurs player
[POWER GAP]
7. DeMarcus Cousins
7.5 Vivek Ranadive
8. Churros
[POWER ABYSS]
9001. Pau Gasol
9002. Spurs’ passing, rebounding, defense, and all other lame things that aren’t scoring