This week’s biggest busts: Pistons -6, Wizards -5, Hawks -4, Mavericks -4 This week’s biggest successes: Grizzlies +5, Nuggets +4, Trail Blazers +4 1. Golden State Warriors (55-14, 3-0 this week) (last week: #2 [2-3] +1) Holding the sacred relic in his outstretched palm, Kevin Durant murmured, “Spirits, please place your healing touch upon my…
Read MoreDay: March 19, 2017
Malcolm Brogdon 18 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
The 2016 draft class was at serious risk of not having any of its members average double-digit scoring in their rookie seasons. But wait! What’s that I see in the distance? It’s Malcolm Brogdon AKA The Junkyard Brog coming to save the floundering assemblage of his co-draftees with his 10.0 points per game! After averaging…
Read MoreCody Zeller 19 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
Cody Zeller is one of the least exciting players on of the least exciting teams in the league. For how athletic he is, he only rarely dunks on people, the only thing that could possibly get him noticed. He doesn’t have any fans. Even Indianans have forsaken him. Despite his anonymity, he remains a good…
Read MoreJuan Hernangomez 15 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
I think I’m going to die if I hear “Juancho Three? Gotcho Three!” even one more time. That means I can’t rewatch this pretty-okay Juan Hernangomez vid, but that’s okay. I prefer living over pretty much anything else that I can do. “Juancho Three? Gotcho Three!” It looks stupider typed out like that, which is…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 16 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
This is about the lowest I’ll go for Nikola Jokic highlights. I was pretty much set on not doing them tonight (or this morning if you’re from Europe, you god-damn heathen), but then he ended up with 16 after dealing with serious foul trouble for most of the game. Plus, I did Nurkic highlights and…
Read MoreBobby Portis 22 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
No. I wanted the Bulls to lose again. They are supposed to be imploding. Look at how happy the bench looks while Bobby Portis dominates the Jazz. They are supposedly to be sitting sullenly, maybe halfheartedly clapping, secretly hating each other. They are not supposed to be happy. Their happiness is causing me the opposite…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 23 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
It’s been almost a whole season now, and I still can’t figure out why the Thunder would trade away Ersan Ilyasova. The only semi-plausible reason I can come up with is that it had to do with Enes Kanter and politics. That’s all I’m saying about that. You think I want to get put on…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 12 Points/6 Assists/5 Blocks Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
Another game, another well-rounded performance for Jusuf “Nurkular Bomb” Nurkic. He had a reputation of impacting the game in many ways with Denver, but that reputation is being solidified as he has had a bunch of multi-faceted performances while with the Blazers. A 5×5 before the year is up is not out of the question,…
Read MoreDoug McDermott 21 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2017)
The Thunder traded for Doug McDermott to try and make up for their gigantic blunder of trading Ersan Ilyasova early in the season. I don’t know why they traded away one of their only outside shooting threats, but at least they saw the error of their ways and acquired a comparable white long-bomber. At least,…
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