Is it bad that I continue to utilize the “Rich Holmie Chaun” nickname for Richaun Holmes when I barely understand what it’s referencing? My knowledge of rap artists is minimal, and even that is an exaggeration. I didn’t know who Rich Homie Quan was until I looked up the reference because the 76ers Twitter used…
Read MoreMonth: March 2017
T.J. Warren 26 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
I would love to get hyped for this 26-point performance for T.J. “Warren Peace” Warren. I would love that more than anything. I WANT to get hyped for it. But I can’t. My hype glands simply refuse to produce hype juice for my brain to receive and consume. I’m sitting here waiting for my damn…
Read MoreTyler Johnson 23 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
The Timberwolves might be up-and-coming, but they couldn’t halt the up-and-comingness of the Heat, who have looked unstoppable for a while now but just recently dragged themselves into a playoff seed. Tyler “The Gap-Toothed Assassin” Johnson has been a big part of both their unstoppableness and their up-and-comingness, since he is himself both of those…
Read MoreRicky Rubio 20 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
The Timberwolves commentators alleged that Ricky Rubio now has a streak of four games with twenty or more points, so I fact-checked them and it turns out they were right! You can’t blame me for being skeptical; after all, we’re talking about the same Ricky Rubio that had just fifteen twenty-point games in his entire…
Read MoreAaron Gordon 17 Points/5 Dunks/4 Blocks Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
For how athletic Aaron Gordon is, he’s blocking an embarrassingly low amount of shots this year. 0.5 per 36? As a hyper-athletic forward? No wonder the Magic were obsessed with playing Serge Ibaka over him. There’s probably some reason for his low rejection stats that would become apparent were I to watch full Magic games,…
Read MoreRobin Lopez 25 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
You know things are getting bad in Chicagoland when the Bulls commentators are repeatedly stating how they’d like to see Robin Lopez get more offensive touches. Fropez is a great player in his own way, but he’s not the kind of guy you forcefeed in the post. He’s more of an opportunistic scorer. The Bulls’…
Read MoreKhris Middleton 30 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
It’s becoming abundantly clear that while Jabari Parker is a really sweet player, he doesn’t contribute to wins the way that Khris Middleton does. People are quick to forget that Middleton was actually the Bucks’ best player that year, and his return to the lineup is the main reason for their recent turnaround. And here…
Read MoreIvica Zubac 18 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
The Lakers are tanking. Everybody knows it. They don’t necessarily need to, since their roster is so funky, except that they want to keep their pick. I’m not here to judge. I just think it’s sad that Ivica Zubac’s first taste of the NBA is on a team that can’t win even if they wanted…
Read MoreJae Crowder 24 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
If there was some sort of NBA-related MMA venture, I bet Jae Crowder would do pretty well. I mean, since it was NBA-related, there wouldn’t be any actual fights, just a bunch of dudes standing around and posturing, but Crowder would be really good at that. There is an art to looking so much like…
Read MoreWayne Selden 11 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
It’s not often that you see 10-dayers come to their new NBA team and start right away. If it does happen, it’s usually a team that’s blatantly tanking. Not a team like the Pelicans, who still have vague playoff hopes with their freshly assembled twin towers. Why not start E’Twaun Moore? He sucks, but at…
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