December 24, 2017 – Page 2

John Henson 16 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

JOHN HENSON JUMPSHOT ALERT! JOHN HENSON JUMPSHOT ALERT! JOHN HENSON HAS MADE A JUMPSHOT! ALERT ALERT ALERT John “Captain Hook” Henson, as his nickname suggests, is infinitely more comfortable taking sweeping hook shots than he is taking jumpshots. He has, over the course of his career, fluctuated between “never ever taking jumpers” and “taking too…

Jaylen Brown 20 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

Jaylen Brown perused the selection of cards at his local Hallmark store. There were so many to choose from: get well cards, thank you cards, birthday cards, holiday cards, it was too much for him. Feeling overwhelmed by the options, he closed his eyes and grabbed one at random from the “Christmas” section. When he…

Manu Ginobili 15 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

It’s impossible to talk about Manu Ginobili’s old-man scoring game without using the word “crafty”. You just can’t do it. You can try your hardest, but that word will always slip out of your mouth without your meaning it to, because it is the perfect word to describe how Ginobili continues to be a competent…

Tyler Johnson 20 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

I have, off-and-on for the past few years, considered renaming my channel to simply be “I Hate Tyler Johnson”. Not because I actually hate Tyler Johnson; I don’t. But the unofficial threshhold for him qualifying for a highlight video is an even twenty points, and he’ll often score eighteen or nineteen instead. Thus, it would…

Willie Cauley-Stein 22 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

Another high-scoring game for Willie Cauley-Stein, another game where he doesn’t shoot any of the jumpshots that I so desperately crave from him. I totally understand that he’s shooting 30% this year on jumpshots. I understand that. I also am fully aware that WCS missed the three or four midrange attempts he had in this…

Buddy Hield 24 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

My 3D-printed statue of Buddy Hield has completely sated my need for human interaction. His gigantic purpleness is less judgemental of my unique lifestyle than humans are. Long ago I tired of dealing with so-called “normies”, but this twelve-foot-tall naked purple Buddy is about as far from being a normie as it’s possible to get….

Maurice Harkless 22 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

I know I often speak in hyperbole when it comes to such things, but is this not a top ten most anomalous scoring performance so far this season? Moe Harkless wasn’t even averaging five points per game before he did this, even though he’s one of the main Blazers bench guys. I was starting to…

Myles Turner 23 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

DTB’S OFFICIAL GAMEPLAN IF HE WAS COACH OF THE PACERS: 1. Spam pick-and-pops with Myles Turner until the opponent ragequits 2. Spam pick-and-pops with Sabonis and Young if Turner ever needs to come out of the game for some reason, but Turner shouldn’t get tired because he won’t need to play defense in this new…

Tyreke Evans 30 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

The good thing about the Grizzlies’ current situation (which is a talent-bereft roster, a known bad coach [J.B. “Joe Blob Dickerstaff” Bickerstaff], an injured star point guard, and a discontented star center) is that Tyreke “Reke of Putrefaction” Evans gets to constantly have throwback games to his rookie season. This is exactly the kind of…

Shabazz Napier 21 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

It took a while, but Shabazz Napier is now a better player than Shabazz Muhammad. It could just be because Muhammad is receiving literally no minutes right now, but you can not deny that Napier is scoring more points per game more efficiently than ever before. He’s actually… good! LeBron was right after all! With…