How much hard American currency would you be willing to pay to touch Nikola Mirotic’s beard? No other currencies accepted. Only freedom dollars. Personally, I would take a crisp, fresh fiver, slam it right into his hand, and begin stroking his black chin-fibers. If it cost more than that, I would not do it, because I have standards. His beard is great, but it’s not the greatest, is what I’m saying.
And I’m not talking about James Harden here. That thing is impressive only to undiscerning plebeians.