Sometimes when I watch Domantas Sabonis videos/compile Domantas Sabonis videos/think about Domantas Sabonis at all I get sad that Donatas Motiejunas is no longer with us. It’s not fair to Sabonis to think that, but it’s what I feel. There are holes in my heart that simply cannot be filled without copious dipsy-doo post moves…
Read MoreMonth: January 2018
Mario Hezonja 16 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2018)
Mario Hezonja keeps on looking solid. He had a little three game mini-slump where he wasn’t scoring double figures, but now he’s right back at it. At this point, looking solid on a consistent basis is a great victory for him. Whatever expectations people had for him before the draft are likely not going to…
Read MoreAaron Gordon 30 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2018)
I wasn’t watching this game, but I noticed the Magic were down by a bunch, and then all of a sudden were only down by like three points. What the heck happened there? I know Aaron Gordon did some stuff, because I actually just got done making highlights of him scoring 30 points, but it…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 18 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
OFFICIAL LOWEST TRUE SHOOTING PERCENTAGES FOR PLAYERS WHO PLAY MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES PER GAME POWER RANKINGS: 1. Lonzo “Secretly Hates his Father” Ball (43%) 2. Marcus “Vital Part of the Team” Smart (45.8%) 3. Danilo “Hospital Bed” Gallinari (47.5%) 4. Dion “Buckets Don’t Lie” Waiters (48.7%) 5. Nicolas “I Hate Juan-Carlos Navarro” Batum (49.7%)…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 21 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
Serge “Ibaka Gaijin” Ibaka is currently having his second-most efficient scoring season ever, behind 2012-13 season with the Thunder where they got swept in the second round by the Grizzlies. When you think about it that way, it’s totally fine for him to not be the same stud defender in years past: why would he…
Read MoreMalcolm Brogdon 19 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
Malcolm “The Junkyard Brog” Brogdon scored seventeen of his nineteen points in the fourth quarter of this game, AKA “Garbago Time”. For the entire time he was going against Fred VanVleet and Delon Wright, so maybe the points are worth like 65% of what they normally are, but then again, VanVleet and Wright were motivated…
Read MoreJustin Holiday 23 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
“Dear Mr. Holiday, I regret to inform you that you have disqualified yourself from any further highlight videos based on your shameful performance on January 5th, 2018 against the Dallas Mavericks. You are likely to be aware of the incident to which I refer, but, for legal reasons, I will disclose it here: You are…
Read MoreTyreke Evans 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
I didn’t even realize that Tyreke “Reke of Putrefaction” Evans was on a one-year, 3.3 million dollar deal this year. I was just sort of assuming that he was one of those players who got a big payday for no reason other than teams had hella money to spend, but nope, that’s Chandler Parsons. Anyway,…
Read MoreBen Simmons 19 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
Q: Would Ben Simmons have recorded a 30/15 game if he had played in the second half of the third quarter and at any point during the fourth quarter? A: It is not our place as humans to predict the future, but all signs point to “yes”. I’m going to go out and say it:…
Read MoreWesley Matthews 24 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
Blazers-era Wes Matthews is never coming back, injury stole him from us, but at least Matthews’s shooting is looking slightly more remiscent of his days in Portland. After being under the 40% mark (remember, that’s the unofficial demarcation line between “sucks” and “is okay”) for his first two seasons with the Mavs, he has topped…
Read More