January 2018 – Page 5

Milos Teodosic 12 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

I haven’t quite figured out yet where my cutoff point is for Milos Teodosic highlights. Whatever it is, it’s pretty low right now, obviously. Should it be higher? Should I say to myself “don’t make Teodosic vids unless he scores 14 or has 10 assists you idiot, do you have no shame?”? Maybe so. I…

Denzel Valentine 18 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

Here’s my thought process while watching this game: 1st Denzel Valentine floater: “does he not realize floaters are for unathletic point guards who can’t get a shot any other way?” 2nd Denzel Valentine floater: “man Snell was right there this sucks” 3rd Denzel Valentine floater: “hot damn that dude just floatered it in from twenty…

Alex Caruso 11 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

How much longer is Lonzo Ball going to be out? I think Lakers fans are getting antsy. There’s only so much Alex Caruso and Tyler Ennis a fanbase can handle before they start burning down buildings. Maybe I’m reading the situation wrong. Maybe they’re really happy that the team is sucking and that they get…

Tyrone Wallace 19 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

As time goes on, it gets more and more clear: Tyrone Wallace is a legit NBA rotation player. Not an especially impactful one, or an especially exciting one, but those aren’t requirements for being in the NBA. Solid role-players are often undervalued; that’s what Wallace is right now, and I don’t think anyone outside the…

Bryn Forbes 23 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

I really, really want to complain about Bryn “Brynk of Insanity” Forbes not getting enough minutes, but even I can’t carp about his playing time. With this confidence from the coaching staff, it is now up to him to go out there and do the things that he was doing in Summer League. That means…

De’Aaron Fox Career High 26 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

“Hey! Hey waitress! HEY! WE NEED MORE BREADSTICKS OVER HERE!” yelled De’Aaron Fox drunkenly as the other patrons of the San Antonio-area Olive Garden glared at him. “In case you didn’t hear, I just scored a CAREER HIGH!” When their waitress didn’t immediately address his request, he threw the empty breadstick basket at her. De’Aaron’s…

Vince Carter 21 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

Vince Carter now joins an elite group of 10 players who managed to extend their NBA careers to the ripe old age of 41. 9 players if you take out Nat Hickey, which you really should, because it’s total BS that he was able to check himself into a game while being coach of a…

Fred VanVleet Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2018)

Fred “Vleet of Voot” VanVleet made the Lakers pay for running a point-guard rotation of Tyler Ennis (LMAO) and Alex Caruso (double LMAO). He only played 20 minutes, because that was all the time he needed to take a big steamy dump on the entire Los Angeles metropolitan area. This might be a low point…

Tyus Jones 13 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/27/2018)

I sort of get these feelings that maybe Timberwolves fans (and even the Timberwolves commentators) are disappointed with what Jeff Teague brings to the table and would rather see more of Tyus Jones out there on the floor. I can see where they’re coming from; Teague likes to score about as much as he likes…

Tyler Dorsey 14 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (1/27/2018)

With this game, Tyler Dorsey OFFICIALLY becomes the highest-scoring Dorsey in NBA history. Let’s run down the list of scrubs who he just savagely destroyed, and whose careers he just made into complete laughingstocks: 1. Joey Dorsey. Career-high: 13 points. He does, however, beat everybody else rather significantly in the “total career points” category, with…