I went and looked up Kobi “Kobi Briant” Simmons’ G-League stats because I wanted to see how thoroughly he dominated his sub-par competition. A lot of these two-way contract guys are too unstoppable in the G-League to allow them to play there for more than a few games at a time, so I was pretty sure that Simmons would be averaging something like a 22/2/2 statline. Imagine my surprise and anger when I saw that Simmons is ONLY averaging 15 points per game on twelve shot attempts.
Um, you’re the NBA player, Mr. Simmons. You’re allowed to shoot as many shots as you want, if not more. Nobody’s getting fooled by your “take a backseat and be a team player” act. We all know you could go out there and average 30 on thirty shots for this team that’s allegedly called the “Memphis Hustle” (it makes the “Wisconsin Herd” sound not quite as dumb, I guess). Trigger-happy shooting guards are the perfect type of player to dominate the G-League because nobody can stop them from taking shots. Did Simmons not get the memo? Should I tweet him the memo? How do you tweet PDF’s at people?