March 2018 – Page 7

Quinn Cook 17 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

Right now I’m feeling sad because Quinn Cook is hitting all these pull-up midrange jimbos and they’re very aesthetic in quality and he would be a perfect subject for a midrange-ilation, but he’s only been getting consistent minutes within which to hit these shots for, like, fifteen games. If he had been doing this all…

Thaddeus Young 22 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

Thaddeus Young is one of those good players on a playoff team who you never, ever hear anything about, ever. No articles, no tweets, no social media antics, maybe something in some rinky-dink local media outfit but who cares, and definitely no Zach Lowe. I could be wrong about that last one, because I lost…

Fred VanVleet 16 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

I need to write an app or something (or have someone else write it for me) that automatically subtracts points scored in the last however many minutes in blowout games from player point totals in the NBA boxscores. I need to do this because I am sick, and I am tired, of embarking on what…

Pascal Siakam 15 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

Look at those facial wrinkles. Pascal Siakam has to be at least 35, if not 40, years old. At least Thon Maker invested early in anti-aging wrinkle-removing cream to be able to keep up his charade. Siakam looks like he could be my grandfather except he’s really black. And I’m supposed to believe he’s 23?…

Trey Burke 19 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

The Knicks did not take very long to figure out that Emmanuel Mudiay is not a good basketball player. That’s not putting it harshly enough, but I’m feeling nice tonight. It was a good idea to take a flyer on him, see if a change of scenery would mean a change in quality, but it…

Taurean Prince 28 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

Taurean Prince is mimicking my expression when I saw that he somehow scored a large amount of points, again, even thought last year he didn’t show anything that indicated that such large amounts of points were in his future. Kind of a happy look, but also sort of like “oh MAN more Taurean Prince highlights…

Gerald Green 25 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

I don’t feel as bad about the Bucks giving up on Gerald Green way too quickly now that he’s come back down to earth and isn’t scoring 20 points per game anymore. It was still a bad decision, but hey, we have Brandon Jennings now, who is just as swaggy but has the added bonus…

Isaiah Taylor Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

I’m not even going to talk about how much of a REVENGE GAME this was for Isaiah Taylor even though it was totally a REVENGE GAME because of how greatly he desired to show the Rockets that they were wrong for ever getting rid of him. He’s looking at the scrubs on the Rockets, those…

Terry Rozier Career High 33 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

You know things are going good for you as a player when your commentators do that little half-snort thing when you make a shot. That’s normally a sound reserved for the opposing team’s commentators to make. Terry Rozier was that player tonight. He was throwing up shots, and they were going down. He did the…

Joe Harris Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2018)

Here is the official list of players Joe Harris got revenge on tonight: Tristan Thompson J.R. Smith Kevin Love LeBron James Those are the players that were teammates of Harris when he was with the Cavs, part of a group of players who collectively decided that they didn’t want him as a teammate, as he…