I know that Julius Randle’s career is just getting started, but it’s never too early to start thinking about how you’ll make money once the spigot of NBA checks dries up. And in Julius’ case, I have the perfect solution. Its essential essence can be distilled into three words:
Orange. Julius. Empire.
Think about it. Orange Julius is an undervalued fast-food brand in this era. They don’t even serve food really. They just served orange juice with crushed up ice in it. At least, I think that’s what an Orange Julius is. I’ve never had one personally.
Anyway, what I’m saying is, the startup costs are probably super low. When was the last time you even saw a standalone Orange Julius store that wasn’t attached like a tumor to a Dairy Queen store? Exactly. The company will probably pay you to open one instead of the other way around.
Plus, real-estate in mall food courts is super cheap. There are dead malls all over the country that would line up to orally pleasure you if you even hinted that you wanted to open up an Orange Julius in their deserted food court. With just one year’s worth of NBA money, you could probably open up 50 or 100 of the stores in economically disadvantaged markets and sell Orange Juliuses to poor people who have forgotten how tasty they are. It’s a guaranteed money-printing factory. The only reason I myself haven’t done it yet is I’m too busy running my highlights empire to run an Orange Julius empire on the side.
Plus, there’s the name connection. Julius/Julius. The Orange Julius mothership has to pay you royalties to use your name. That’s even more money in your pocket, my man. Just remember to give me a 25% cut as your official business advisor.