Sometimes people do things they regret.
When Joe Harris had 19 points at half-time, I posted some very regrettable posts to all my personal social media accounts. Basically, I told everybody that if Joe Harris didn’t score thirty, I would do the “Brandon Jennings Dance” on cam and post it for everybody to see. To be fair, Harris looked unstoppable in the first half, and it seemed like a forgone conclusion that he would meet or exceed the thirty-point barrier.
You all know how that worked out. Harris ended up scoring only five more points the entire game. I blame his beard and his unruly hair, but playing the blame game isn’t going to solve anybody’s problems right now, because I’ve gone on the lam.
I mean, there’s no way I’m posting a shirtless video of myself doing an effeminate dance to an obsolete pop song. Just no way. But my so-called “friends” keep harrassing me about it, and the only way I could see out of my unfortunate situation was to go on the run. I’m currently posting this video from a coffee shop two states over while wearing a paper bag on my head. People are giving me weird looks (especially because the bag doesn’t have eyeholes – luckily I’m an expert touch-typist), but at least nobody’s making me post an incriminating webcam video of myself doing a stupid little dance.
I hate Joe Harris.