This is Joe Harris’ SEVENTH nineteen-point game of the season. Seventh! I’m starting to think that he’s doing this on purpose to torment me, because he knows that I consider a twenty-point game to be way more exciting than a nineteen-point game. There’s no other reason why he would fail to break through the twenty-point barrier so consistently.
Well, I’m going to turn Harris’ dirty trick back on him. From now on, Joe Harris OFFICIALLY has to score twenty points in order to get a highlight video. No exceptions. No twenty points, no highlight video. He can score ninteen points as often as he wants but, every time, he will be met by unimpressed silence from yours truly. I don’t need to have my life tormented by millionaires. I’m not going to allow it anymore.
Exceptions to the newly-instituted, unbreakable twenty-point rule will be granted if Harris gets a triple-double. However, given that he has only gotten double-digit rebounds twice in his career, and has never gotten more than seven assists in a game, I find this possibility to be laughably remote.
You may snicker at my conviction, but I feel as if my life just got measurably better.