Dennis Schröder 24 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2019)

Does anybody even remember/care about the fact that Dënniß ßchrööder has a felony on his record after he beat the tar out of some dude with his posse? There was some talk that he could get deported for it. I’m pretty sure that the US Government would want to avoid the media circus that would inevitably surround an NBA player (and a pretty decent one at that) getting deported out of the country. I feel like awareness of this scenario has died down, not to be revisited until it’s time for ßchrööder to think about switching teams in free agency. Then, fans of his preferred teams will argue amongst themselves whether or not it’s a good idea to sign somebody who could get deported to Germany, and what would happen to his salary if he did get deported.

Another thing that I feel like nobody even remembers or cares about anymore is the fact that Dënniß ßchrööder essentially averaged twenty points per game last season. Now he’s in a backup role and the upward trajectory he had as an up-and-coming young point guard has flattened. Will he ever again get the chance to be “the man” on a team like he was with the Hawks? Will he even get another starting gig in his career? I’m talking about intentional starting gigs here, not starting gigs that come about as a result of an injury to the “real” starter. Most teams these days either have an established starter already at the PG position or they have somebody they’re developing. The market for ßchrööder’s services is weak unless he markets himself as a premier backup PG solution for contending teams.

That actually sounds pretty easy. Where do I sign up to be ßchrööder’s agent. I’ve already, through my advanced use of umlauts, proven to be a fluent German speaker, so I’m clearly the best candidate for the job. Do I still get paid if he gets deported? No?

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