John Collins’ previous season high in blocked shots was one. Can you believe that? As a young, athletic power forward who is near the basket on defense at least some of the time, one would expect at least one instance of Collins recording more than one block in a game. But he hasn’t. Not until…
Read MoreMonth: March 2019
Kelly Oubre 22 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
After squandering their lead in their last matchup against the Warriors, the Suns have now beaten the Warriors fair and square on their home turf. While bandwagon fans who paid $2,000 per ticket (not to mention $30 for an oversalted “bay area chicken tenders platter”) streamed for the exits, unable to believe that their beloved…
Read MoreJeff Teague 20 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
I have previously implied (or just straight-up stated) that the only reason Jeff Teague gets tons of assists this year is because he gets to play with the assist sponge known as Karl-Anthony Towns. It was a fair statement to make, because every time Teague was getting big assist games, Towns was right there, making…
Read MoreAvery Bradley 21 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
Avery Bradley is playing so much better in Memphis than he was in LA (at least, he is on offense – DTB does not care about defense) that one has to wonder if the Clippers front office is feeling a little sore about the whole trade. Sure, they got Garrett Temple and JaMychal Green in…
Read MoreWayne Selden 18 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
Hopefully this doesn’t come across as insensitive in any way, but I don’t understand African American hairstyles so I need a little help here. Basically, my question is this: are Wayne Selden’s dreadlock things intentionally squiggly, or was, that, like, their response to being slept on funny? I need to know. If Selden has those…
Read MoreElfrid Payton Triple Double 15 Pts/10 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
I totally understand that Elfrid Payton was pretty much required to chop off that crazy hair thing he had been rocking for the previous few seasons. That thing was just gross. It gave me communicable diseases just by watching it on TV. Just thinking about that greasy, clumpy mass gives me a strong urge to…
Read MoreFrank Jackson 23 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
So I guess Frank Jackson is the man now? A two-game sample size is probably too small to draw any reasonable conclusions, but it’s definitely not too small to draw UNreasonable conclusions, and the unreasonable conclusion I have drawn is that, with Jackson attempting 20 and 18 field goals in the past two games, the…
Read MoreKevin Huerter 27 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
After that 29-point game he had back in early January, I felt like people were being way too hasty in crowning Kevin Huerter AKA Butthuert AKA Kevin Huerant. Maybe it’s just due to my pessimistic nature, but I had a feeling that Huerter couldn’t possibly live up to the standards that people were suddenly placing…
Read MoreDamyean Dotson 26 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
Based solely on this 26/6/6 statline (a line which I call the “number of the beast” statline, because players who achieve it are usually beasts), I’m gonna go ahead and say that Damyean Dotson is the next Tyreke Evans. That sounds awesome, doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t want a player who compares favorably to a former…
Read MoreTaj Gibson 25 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
Taj Gibson walked up to his locker and quickly noticed that it wasn’t set up quite how he expected it. His jersey was hanging in its place, and the customary bottle of Gatorade (orange flavor – his favorite) had been put in its spot on the shelf, but there was something unexpected there next to…
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