Kevon Looney 12 Points Full Highlights (5/20/2019)

Just like Alfonzo McKinnie will get a thirty-second spot in the upcoming Warriors Championship DVD (which will also be available as a Warriors Championship Blu-Ray, but not a Warriors Championship VHS) for his clutch overtime putback, Kevon “Duront” Looney will also get a thirty-second-long vignette to highlight his steady play, specifically his offensive rebounds.

While the commentator says in his proud, strong voice, “Little-used reserve Kevon Looney came off the bench to provide rebounding at crucial moments in the series”, a slow-mo montage of Looney getting offensive rebounds for putbacks will be shown. Also shown will be short clips of Steph Curry pumping his fist or jumping off the bench and clapping in response to Looney’s heroic rebounding efforts. Then the commentator will say, “Looney’s twelve points in game four of the conference finals ensured that there would be no game five.”

I have so many great ideas for the Warriors Championship DVD that I should actually just make my own instead of watching the NBA’s lame version, which will undoubtedly fail to live up to the expectations I have for it. My computer has a DVD burner so there’s no reason why I couldn’t undercut the NBA and sell these things for five dollars a pop through eBay or Etsy. Then I could focus on the Warriors’ role-players all I want and just pretend that Curry, Thompson, Green, and Durant have nothing to do with the Warriors’ success at all.

Hopefully the Bucks don’t win the Finals and derail my ingenious money-making scheme.

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