Luguentz Dort. Is that not the best name ever? That’s the kind of name that is destined for NBA success, much like Admiral Schofield. The difference between Schofield and Dort is that Schofield’s name sounds really stately and official, like a high-ranking member of parliament or something, while Dort’s name sounds mysterious and primal.
Just say it out loud. “Dort”. It’s like the sound effect in a movie about cavemen where one caveman gets hit in the head with a club by another caveman. And “Luguentz”? That’s not a name I’ve ever heard before, but it’s vaguely foreign sounding. When combined, it’s just the best name ever. Luguentz Dort. That’s the kind of guy I would want to sign to my team, sight unseen. That name screams “baller”.
Of course, it’s unwise to judge a player based on a name that they didn’t even choose for themselves (presumably Dort’s parents picked it out for him). It’s always smarter to judge a player based on their body of work in competitive games of basketball. But I haven’t done my research on Dort so I have no idea if he’s supposed to be good, or if he was good in college, or if he was a hyped highschool prospect, or if he’s tearing up the G-League, or if his teammates have previously praised him in any way. The only things I know about Dort, I either saw in this game or I looked up on basketball-reference when I first saw his name and thought to myself “I have to know more about this guy”.
Luguentz Dort. Damn. I wanna change my name.