Torrey Craig 17 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2020)

Out of my many attempts to start viral hashtag sensations, I have to say that my #TorreyCraigIsWelsh campaign has to have been the least successful. Even I didn’t use it, except in, like, one or two video descriptions. As far as I’m aware, no tweets were ever tweeted in support of the hashtag, which (rather obviously) alleges that Torrey Craig of the Denver Nuggets is a Welsh national.

I will maintain until my final breath that it was a stroke of genius to try to trick the people of Wales (and the people of planet Earth in general) that Torrey Craig was Welsh. Craig doesn’t have many fans, but that would change overnight if Welsh people realized that one of their own was playing in the NBA. It’s like a win-win-win-win situation: Craig wins because he gets more fans, the people of Wales win because they have another sportsman to root for, the NBA wins because a new market opens up to them that wasn’t really there before, and I win because I charge 25-cent royalties any time somebody uses the #TorreyCraigIsWelsh hashtag.

Also, the Welsh people win twice because this hashtag was going to be the springboard for a newly-devised Welsh independence plan that would be spearheaded by Craig’s advocacy for the emancipation of the proud Welsh, a people who have been subjugated under the monarchy for far too long. Following Welsh independence, the United Kingdom would crumble in like ten years. Twenty years tops. And it would all be because of my creative hashtags.

But it’s not going to happen that way. The #TorreyCraigIsWelsh campaign’s not dead, but if Craig’s not going to get consistent minutes going forward, I probably won’t bother trying to revive it. I might instead pivot to my “plan B” hashtag, which is #NikolaJokicIsScottish . I’m pretty sure there are more Scots than there are Welsh, and Nikola Jokic is a player with a significantly higher profile than Craig, so this new hashtag has a bigger chance to make a more immediate impact on the state of basketball fandom in the United Kingdom.

The only problem is the names. Torrey Craig could definitely be the name of a person of 100% Welsh ancestry. Nikola Jokic could definitely not be the name of a person of 100% Scots ancestry.

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