Jonas Valanciunas 27 Points Full Highlights (3/7/2020)

I have a feeling that future people (who might not even be alive yet, how wild is that) are going to look back on the career stats of Jonas Valanciunas and wonder how such a beast of a player went so unnoticed both during and after his playing career. They’re going to see the solid production year after year after year, maybe they’re even going to see the mild team success, and they’re going to think that he should’ve been an All-Star at least one time.

In this scenario, Valanciunas just keeps doing what he has been doing for like 7 more seasons before retiring from the NBA so that he can run off and dominate some Lithuanians in his domestic league and maybe win a championship or two. He will have never made an All-NBA team, or an All-Star team, or been voted for even once for any awards at all (All-Rookie second team does NOT count). His playoff success will be limited. But his stats will be just as sweet as they are now.

If I had anything to say to these future people who are wondering why Valanciunas wasn’t a bigger deal, it would be that they should be thankful that they are living in the future and not the stupid dumb past like DownToBuck is right now. God damn it. I didn’t get born into this world just so that I would have to sleep 8 hours a day (so much lost productivity, it makes me legitimately upset) and for there not to even be hoverboards. And I’m talking REAL hoverboards. Not those frickin toys with wheels that come outfitted with a complementary exploding battery.

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