Dillon Brooks 22 Points Full Highlights (8/7/2020)

This is not really a notable highlight video. Dillon Brooks goes out there and hits some swaggy shots (ten of them to be exact) and then the video ends. That’s it. Just another middling DownToBuck highlight video to throw into the pile of unwatched and forgotten videos.

But if you listen deeper, there is something interesting here. The Grizzlies commentators. They sound a bit…digitized in this video. Like they recorded themselves talking and then played it back on a very low-quality sound system. Are the commentators somewhere in the arena when they commentate? Are they elsewhere in the bubble? Were they even allowed into the bubble? Now that I think about it, they’re probably calling the game from somewhere far away. That could explain the janky sound quality.

But my preferred explanation is that the Grizzlies commentators are slowly but surely turning into robots. First it was the sheets of metal that started gradually replacing their human skin. Now it’s their voiceboxes that are transforming from supple human tissue into robotic metal parts. Robot commentators would honestly be a huge innovation since they could be programmed not to make simple mistakes (like misidentifying players) and you could also explicitly program them not to yell “Bango!” after anybody on the Grizzlies makes a three-pointer. I hereby volunteer to be in charge of programming these new commentator robots as long as I can use a programming language that doesn’t make me manage my own memory or do pointer arithmetic. I suck at that stuff. Garbage-collected languages only, please. Thank you.

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