I’ve had four (actually more like five) months of very limited basketball activity to contemplate the very important question: which NBA player has the raddest name?
The answer is still Luguentz Dort, in case you were wondering. I came to that conclusion after about two minutes of thinking and the subsequent five additional months of intense thought didn’t really change my opinion at all. Admiral Schofield is nipping at his heels, though.
The only problem is, the Thunder commentators seem content to call him “Lu”. That’s the dumbest thing ever. I don’t care if Dort himself endorses this contraction of his name or not. If you’ve got a cool name like that, it has to be said in full every single time. No shortcuts. Calling Dort by the name “Lu” is like ordering a cheeseburger, eating only the bun, and then claiming it was a really good cheeseburger. All your dining companions would think you were a moron. And I think anybody who calls Dort by the name “Lu” is a moron.
I am willing to fight people over this, up to and including Dort himself. Just be aware that if Dort punches me, there won’t be any more DownToBuck highlight videos because my skull will be broken into at least six different peaches. Hopefully the coroner doesn’t see the tears that are still in my tear ducts.