Shake Milton went 6-of-18 from the field in this game. He had more field goal attempts than he had points, which violates the cardinal DTB rule: DO NOT MAKE A HIGHLIGHT VIDEO IF THE PLAYER IN QUESTION HAD MORE FIELD GOAL ATTEMPTS THAN POINTS SCORED. However, he has been granted what is known as the “Jordan Crawford” exception, which allows such players to have a highlight video made of them if their scoring output represents a significant deviation from their season average.
Besides, the 76ers shot 29.5% from the field as a team (LOL [lots of laughs]) so, in the context of his team, Milton’s 33% shooting was better than average. He was better percentage wise than Tobes (6-of-19), Richardson (5-of-17), Burks (3-of-10), Horford (1-of-5), and just barely worse than Embiid (7-of-20). So Milton, in some sick and perverse definition of the word, carried his team here. That’s so sick that I’m actually feeling nauseated right now.
In case you’re wondering, the Sixers’ woeful shooting in this game, while dealing a death-blow to their chances of emerging from the first round, is not nearly the worst playoff shooting performance by a team in the modern era. The 2004 Hornets (based in New Orleans) shot a frigid 24.4% from the field to go down 0-2 in their first-round matchup against the Heat. First off, I had no idea New Orleans was in the Eastern conference at any point (unless this series was actually the Finals). Second off, a playoff team scoring 63 points is the most bogus garbage I’ve ever heard of. Third off, why the heck is a starting lineup of Baron Davis, David Wesley, Jamaal Magloire, P.J. Brown, and George Lynch in the frickin’ playoffs? As the fifth seed? How much dingaling did the East suck that year? All of it?
Looking at these fun historical stats is way more fun than thinking about the 76ers, by the way. Sixers fans, you’re welcome to try out this technique to assuage your all-consuming angst.