“Night falls over the city of Philadelphia. The evil lurking in the shadows is making ready to appear, to disrupt the lives of the citizens of this beautiful town. Ah yes. The night. My time. Beware evil-doers, for…”
“Damn it Andre, I knew I’d find you up here on the roof of the Wells Fargo Center. Have you been watching Kick-Ass again?”
“Actually, Kent, it was Kick-Ass 2.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass which one it was, you’re not a god damn superhero. Why don’t you come down man, me and some of the guys going to get some cheesesteaks.”
“Evil never sleeps! I must remain vigilant. I have no time for gallivanting about town, there is evil afoot! I am the law!”
“So you been watching Judge Dredd too? I bet if you walked into West Philly with that ridiculous suit on you’d get drive-byed before you realized what was happening. Come on, be reasonable. Remember the one time you actually tried to fight crime? In LA? Trying to fight that armed drug dealer with a pair of nunchucks was a bad idea. You’re lucky not to be dead, and even more lucky that your contract didn’t get voided.”
“It’s not my fault that the common criminal has no sense of honor!”
“I’d do the same thing if some asshole in a red, white, and blue leotard was hitting me in the face with nunchucks. Whatever. I’m done with you. Do whatever you want. I ain’t your momma. I’m going to Geno’s for some grub.”
“Alone again. The curse of the superhero. Ah well, it cannot be helped. Where was I? Oh yes. The night. My time. Beware evil-doers, for the Andrenihilator is on the prowl, and his justice will be served with extreme prejudice!”