“Hey, Trevor, excited for the new XBox that’s coming out? I already got my preorder in.” “Naw man, I’m holding out for the PS4. I hear it’s gonna be tight. Graphics so good they’ll make your mind explode. While you’re playing with your little kiddy console in 720p I’m gonna be quickscoping noobs in glorious…
Read MoreDay: November 11, 2013
Cartier Martin 16 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)
The first thing that Cartier Martin noticed when he awoke is that he no longer was able to move his limbs. Looking down, he could see that he was strapped to some kind of table, a far cry from his comfy bed at home. “Looks like our visitor has awakened, fellas,” said a voice from…
Read MoreRobin Lopez 17 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)
Robin Lopez is one of the more underrated players in the league. He started all 82 for the Hornets last year and was consistent. He may be half-retarded, but he know what he can do on the court. Rarely does he shoot a jumper. Sometimes he tries sky-hook-like things, which is awesome and should be…
Read MoreNikola Pekovic 25 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)
Is Nikola Pekovic black? Is he scrawny? Does he have a horrible scraggly beard? No? So why did the scorekeepers confuse him for Corey Brewer? That dunk with about 2 minutes left was misattributed, and I’m angry. ANGRY! Corey Brewer needs those points, because he sucks. Nikola Pekovic has no need for inflated point totals….
Read MoreDerrick Favors 21 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/11/2013)
OFFICIAL PLAYERS NAMED DERRICK CURRENTLY IN THE NBA POWER RANKINGS: (Brought to you by Taco Bell’s new Cheetos Explosion Grande: a burrito filled to the breaking point with Cheeto bits, fiery habanero Velveeta sauce, and a brown lumpy substance that might be animal in origin! Try one today!) 1. Derrick Favors This guy is just…
Read MoreVictor Oladipo 17 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)
Are the Magic still tanking? Because I can’t figure out why they’d want to start Jameer Nelson over Victor Oladipo. I mean, yeah, Nelson is a former All-Star, but he’s not exactly on the upswing of his career. Oladipo is young and spry and can probably play all 48 every night. The downside to that…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/11/2013)
You know what I like is when, instead of showing game action, the networks that show NBA games have a camera on some vapid sideline reporter talking about useless crap that no one cares about. I LOVE that. In case you’re confused, I just used the tried-and-true literary technique called “sarcasm”. I actually don’t like…
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