“JR, man, why do you have to smoke it in that ugly thing? You look like an idiot.” “Hey, Cope, don’t talk about this pipe like that. This is a hand-me-down from my ancestors. It’s been in the Smith family for generations. And besides, I think it makes me look pretty damn classy. And everyone…
Read MoreAuthor: downtobuck
Brook Lopez 21 Points Full Highlights (4/22/2013)
Why can’t Brook Lopez grab rebounds? His brother has no problem doing it. You might be thinking “That Reggie Evans guy, he’s a rebound stealer, that’s why Lopez doesn’t get any”. But Brook has always had an issue on the glass. But as Andrea Bargnani famously said, it’s not called reboundball, it’s called basketball. And…
Read MoreTony Allen 16 Points Full Highlights (4/22/2013)
Tony Allen is known as a defensive specialist. He’s also known for showing off after the play was over with the Celtics, taking himself out of the playoffs with an MCL and ACL combo-injury sustained while dunking. An unfortunate event. Could have happened to anybody. But it happened to Allen, and now his knee is…
Read MoreCJ Watson 10 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/22/2013)
“Hey CJ, check out this picture I found on the Internet! It’s so weird!” “Okay Brook just a minute.” “No dude you have to come right now!” “Alright, alright, keep your pants on. If it’s that meatspin thing again I’m gonna… what the hell?” “Isn’t that weird?” “It’s just a picture of a school building….
Read MoreDeMarcus Cousins 36 Points/Career High 22 Rebounds Full Highlights (4/17/2013)
Standing under the scalding water, DeMarcus cleaned himself ponderously. Thoughts were frenziedly hurrying in and out of his brain. Had he just played his last game in Sacramento? Would he like Seattle? Would that cute cheerleader Kelsee continue to cheer for the team, or would he have to leave her behind? He closed his eyes,…
Read MorePerry Jones III Career High 14 Points Full Highlights (4/17/2013)
Perry “I’m actually the fourth but who’s counting” Jones III has ended the year on a high note, averaging 14 points a game over his last one. If he can keep up this performance during the playoffs the Thunder will be tough to beat. He is also a reminder of how over-enthusiastic fans get over…
Read MoreChris Copeland Career High 33 Points Full Highlights (4/17/2013)
Chris Copeland scored 33 points in the season finale against the Hawks, the highlights of which are presented here without additional commentary.
Read MoreHamed Haddadi Career High 14 Points Full Highlights (4/17/2013)
Aside from Joel Pryzbilla, there might not be a less quick player in the NBA than Hamed Haddadi. He kind of shambles around the court, as though no one ever taught him how to move properly and he just figured out himself. If you want a center who can run with the guards in transition,…
Read MoreReggie Jackson Career High 23 Points/5 Assists (4/17/2013)
Thunder: Reggie Jackson. Brings scoring off the bench and is perhaps even more inclined to shoot than Westbrick. Spurs: Gary Neal. Ever since being visited by the spirit of Stephen Jackson, is motivated to shoot a lot and bring Duncan his fifth ring. Nuggets: Evan Fournier. Always brings the flakiest croissants. Clippers: Grant Hill. Never…
Read MoreJohn Henson Career High 28 Points/16 Rebounds (4/17/2013)
How do you know when a player is really good? When the opposing commentators can’t stop talking about him. Of course, the home commentators can never shut up about “potential this” and “upside that” and “blah blah blah hustle”, but the opposing broadcast crew has no bias towards any team except their own. They will…
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