DeMarcus Cousins 30 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2014)

I asked 100 Americans on the street: “Has DeMarcus Cousins finally put it all together?” The responses: Yes: 0% No: 0% Maybe: 0% Put on some clothes you freak: 90% [Pepper spray to interviewer’s face]: 8% [Running away while yelling]: 2% You guys wouldn’t believe where I am right now. I hope I get along…

Read More

DeMarcus Cousins 28 Points/20 Rebounds Full Highlights (3/9/2014)

For the first time in a long time, the Kings appear to have a core they can build around: Cousins, Gay, and Thomas. These players all have deficiencies, but it’s a start. Cousins in particular is a big question mark. He kinda looks like this: ?. Does he contain within him the discipline necessary not…

Read More

DeMarcus Cousins 24 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

At the end of last season, I detailed a visit to DeMarcus by none other than the Basketball Fairy, who granted him three wishes. DeMarcus used his wishes on a nacho cheese-dispensing shower, cupboards containing infinite tortilla chips, and a change to his personality so that he was no longer a team cancer. How are…

Read More

DeMarcus Cousins 36 Points/Career High 22 Rebounds Full Highlights (4/17/2013)

Standing under the scalding water, DeMarcus cleaned himself ponderously. Thoughts were frenziedly hurrying in and out of his brain. Had he just played his last game in Sacramento? Would he like Seattle? Would that cute cheerleader Kelsee continue to cheer for the team, or would he have to leave her behind? He closed his eyes,…

Read More

DeMarcus Cousins 24 Points/1 Ejection Full Highlights (3/10/2013)

DeMarcus Cousins is well known for his proclivity in collecting techs. He’s a good enough player, I guess, but at this rate, when he retires, all people will remember is how much of a hothead he was. It’s the defining characteristic of his game. So against the Bucks he was having a dynamite game, 24…

Read More

DeMarcus Cousins 29 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2012)

We’ve all heard bad things about DeMarcus Cousins. He’s a headcase. He’s a cancer. He’s a locker-room distraction. He can’t play in a team system. He can’t shoot. Well I’ve got some things to say about him too. He’s tall. He can jump. He can run. He has full use of his arms. See? Those…

Read More