Patty “Melt” Mills seems like a bit of a forgotten player nowadays. He was one of the most beloved players in the league when he was with Portland, I believe. His goofy three-goggles that he did all the time, his confidence off the bench even while he was getting no minutes, his underdog personality, all…
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Dennis Schröder 22 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)
Is it just me or is Dennis Schröder dialing his own number a lot more this year? And if he is, is that a good thing or a bad thing? There is a reason that I’m not a widely respected basketball pundit, because I just don’t know in this case. Scoring points is good, for…
Read MoreT.J. McConnell 16 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)
T.J. McConnell is getting too close to basketball immortality. In only about 20 more minutes of game-time, if he manages to keep up his pace, he will challenge Luke Walton’s single season record of 364 minutes played without a single free-throw attempt. It’s taken some serious dedication on the part of McConnell, as he duteously…
Read MoreKarl-Anthony Towns 21 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (11/18/2015)
Hello Minnesota Timberwolves, I am writing to register my interest in applying for your “fan” position. I think I have the qualifications you are looking for in a fan of your team. For one thing, I am a very skilled cheerer. When someone on a favored sports team does something good, I am the first…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 23 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)
Forget about Frank Kaminsky for now. I know it is hard, as a white American male, to not desire highlights of your own kind above all others, but you have to try. Besides, I’ve got the next best thing: highlights of a white Serbian male! Serbia is kind of like America without the crushing worldwide…
Read MoreFrank Kaminsky 11 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)
Guess what, losers. I just went through the entire highlight making process, from clip gathering to description writing, while EATING a god damn BURGER. Can DawkIns do that? What about dorell15? No? Huh. That’s funny, because I totally just did. Greased up my keyboard pretty good, and you know what, it was totally worth it….
Read MoreBrook Lopez 24 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2015)
When people talk about ugly jerseys, the new Hawks jerseys are often brought into the conversation. I politely yet firmly disagree with those people, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. In the Hawks-Nets game last night, the Hawks jerseys were not even the ugliest on the court. Put another way, the grey and…
Read MoreAndrew Bogut 13 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (11/17/2015)
You know, I’m not even mad that the Bucks pulled the trigger on an Andrew Bogut-Monta Ellis swap a few years ago. It looks pretty lame now but at the time, I wasn’t even mad then and I’m not even mad now. Not even. Bogut was coming off a coordinated assassination attempt undertaken by Amar””e…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 24 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2015)
I’m tired of Andrew Wiggins. He keeps having good scoring games, and pretty soon he’ll be an All-Star or something. YAWN. Where’s the fun in that? Watching players be good is such a drag. What I want is some team to pick up Andrew’s brother, Nick Wiggins. That would be sick. Like the 76ers or…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 20 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2015)
When I watch Ersan Ilyasova find success with the Pistons, I know I should be happy. My brain, proud bastion of logic and rationality, tells me this. I should be happy for his team, for all fans of good-quality NBA basketball, and, most importantly, for him. Instead, I feel nothing. When Ersan left for Detroit,…
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