What I want is for Draymond Green to get paid a max contract by the Pistons in the offseason. That’s what I want. Why do I want that? Because we will get to see how Draymond fits into a system where Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson AKA “The Splash Bros” get replaced by Brandon Jennings…
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Kyle Korver All 221 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part II)
The story so far: I met a chick at Dunkin Donuts who was so hot and persistent that she made me break my vow to never again form relations with a woman. We went to my apartment and started watching Dude Where’s My Car. I took a pee break and when I came back she…
Read MoreKyle Korver All 221 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part I)
As you all know, DownToBuck has been done with women since the beginning of the season because every time I get close to a lady, she somehow finds out about Kyle Korver and then runs away to go live with him or something. Honestly, I lose track of them once they split, so for all…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 10 Points Full Highlights (5/20/2015)
That’s real cool TNT. Real cool. Give us replays of everything but the one thing we most want to see replayed. Nobody even cares about sick baseline dunks anyway. Just another routine basketball play for a guy who probably does baseline dunks in every game. There was certainly never a point during Reggie Millers’ inane…
Read MoreClint Capela 9 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (5/19/2015)
Clint Capela vs Festus Ezeli. Who ya got? A difficult question to be sure. Let me help you in your pursuit of the correct answer (Yes, there is a correct answer. This is not a matter of opinion). Clint Capela: just turned 21, which means that he can now legally imbibe alcohols and also has…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 20 Points Full Highlights (5/19/2015)
Earlier in the season I said some bad stuff about Trevor Ariza. Some stuff about contract years and shooting below 40% from the field and maybe even some worse stuff. All of those words were typed in anger. But I’m not going to take any of it back. Trevor Ariza has, in his own way,…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas All 150 Post Moves Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Post Move-ilation Part II)
The Schaub Memorial Orphanage was dark. Donatas walked the silent halls, halls which had been decorated by the children’s artwork. It was a much more modern place than the orphanage in Lithuania had been. There were just two children in each room, instead of twenty or thirty. There was no fireplace, and even if there…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas All 150 Post Moves Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Post Move-ilation Part I)
“I would now like to bring up to the podium Mr. Donatas Motiejunas, the new honorary director of the Schaub Memorial Orphanage!” To a rousing chorus of applause, Donatas sheepishly got up from his seat and walked up to the front. His dream was coming true. When he got to the podium and squinted through…
Read MoreMatthew Dellavedova 19 Points Full Highlights (5/14/2015)
Regular season Delly is content to play his role on the team. Playoff Delly is an entirely different beast, a beast who only desires to watch Kyrie get injured so that he can take over the entire game. This “Playoff Delly” is a result of a series of botched electroshock treatments and misperformed surgeries to…
Read MoreAndre Iguodala 16 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (5/13/2015)
I’ve complained about this before, but I’m going to complain about it again: I hate (HATE) when home crowds get stirred into an ecstatic frenzy by exciting plays made by their team. Just sit down, losers. People are trying to seriously watch the game and they don’t want to see you wave your arms and…
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