“Hey Ricky, great game tonight, made me really feel like I was playin’ with Marbury again, ‘cept of course he ain’t never pass me the ball, and I ain’t know if he ever got a triple-double.” Kevin Garnett walked up to his point guard, hands behind his back. Ricky Rubio turned to face the veteran…
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Andrew Bogut 16 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/2/2015)
I haven’t been watching every game for the Warriors this year, but it seems Bogut is still doing what he has always done, since he was a rookie in Milwaukee. Having pube games. Named for his puby facial growth, a “pube game” is a contest where Bogut does not display full effort, looking lazy and…
Read MoreIsh Smith Career High 19 Points/Career High 9 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2015)
Ah yes, the fabled “career-high in career-highs”. The most storied of all basketball accomplishments. A performance so far out of the norm, that all one can do is gaze with childlike awe at the expertly compiled highlight package. No surprise that Ish “Dish” Smith achieved this accolade while a member of the 76ers, a team…
Read MoreLuis Scola 15 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2015)
“A two-pronged attack at Queen Charlotte Bay and the Byron Sound…that should be enough to retake the west island,” Luis Scola mumbled, standing above a table-sized map of the Falkland Islands. He pushed little figurines to an fro. “West Point would be ours in a day, the perfect base for the rest of our operation…”…
Read MoreCody Zeller 16 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (3/1/2015)
New theory: perhaps the reason why Cody “Zody” Zeller has looked like a bust most of his career is because he played with a point guard who didn’t want to pass (Kemba Walker). Now that he gets to play for a while with a more effective ball-distributor in Mo Williams, he starts to look like…
Read MoreJeremy Lamb 14 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2015)
With each game where Jeremy Lamb received a “DNP – Coach’s Decision”, Scott Brooks further cements his well-earned status as the worst coach in the league. Tonight he had no choice, and Jeremy was unwillingly allowed to play some actual meaningful basketball. And look what happened. 14 points, good efficiency, stuff that the Thunder could…
Read MoreAndre Miller 12 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (3/1/2015)
Andre Miller should be HOFer. Straight up. Try to debate me on this point. You will lose. Don’t even try bringing up his scoring averages. Basketball is a team game, and a player who makes his teammates better by his presence does not himself need to chuck the ball like a maniac. The curators of…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 16 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2015)
I’m sure the Houston Rockets don’t have a problem with attendance these days, but I have an idea to spice up the somewhat homogenous basketball action on display: Lithuanian Heritage Night! It’s perfect: Donatas Motiejunas is Lithuanian, a country people don’t know anything about, so it fulfills the dual roles of enlightenment and fun! Replace…
Read MoreTrey Burke 23 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/28/2015)
You probably knew this already, but Trey “Treyburkulosis” Burke is a chucker of the highest order. It didn’t even hit me until just now. Despite being a very poor shooter, he is second on the Jazz in shot attempts. Now I understand why Jazz fans think he’s the worst player in the league. He is…
Read MoreAlexey Shved 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/28/2015)
Alexey excitedly punched the familiar number into his phone and waited with a big smile as it rang. After much ringing, it was answered. “Hi Shabazz! This is Alexey!” he greeted to his best friend Shabazz Muhammad. “Oh hey man what’s up, you actually kinda got me at a bad time, I really can’t talk…
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