Ryan Anderson looked with concern at the large amount of weaponry presented to him. “Oh, uh, I didn’t really expect all this, you know. Maybe I was just going to have a talk with the guy.” “Just talk with the Smoothie King? Don’t make me laugh.” The extremely fat black man, who had revealed himself…
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Derrick Williams 17 Points Full Highlights (1/1/2015)
Were the hype levels for Derrick Williams ever anywhere near the hype levels that Wiggins and Parker are getting this year? He was drafted four years ago and I don’t really remember. If he was hyped to that level, there would still be people who are excited him even today, but that doesn’t seem to…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 27 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/1/2015)
Andrew Wiggins was training hard. It was almost like a Gatorade commercial; his body sheened with sweat, his face a mask of concentration, his muscles exerted to their limit. He was upset with the start of his rookie year. The only solution? Hard work. He needed no trainers. What could they offer him? Words of…
Read MoreGeorge Hill 20 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
His phone made the characteristic “new text” sound. Not even looking down at his phone, he knew what it was going to be: another one of his teammates wondering why he wasn’t at the New Year’s Eve party with the rest of them. He had already told them that he was still recovering from injury;…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris 25 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
One of my fears with the new year is that I’ll accidentally type “2014” instead of “2015” in the title of all my videos. It’s not a problem today, since I’m still doing yesterday’s games, but starting tomorrow, I’m going to be one erroneous digit from a total mental breakdown. It’s going to be months…
Read MoreManu Ginobili 26 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
Manu has still got it! Stop talking about when he should retire. He’ll retire when he damn well pleases, on his own terms. He can do all the things on the court that he ever could, even now. I’m talking, of course, about his flopping game. You would think that his arm-flailing ability would decrease…
Read MoreJimmer Fredette 14 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
The Pelicans’ coach, Monty Williams, said before the season that Jimmer Fredette had the green light. Was he just screwing with us? That was a weird thing to say, normally an underperformer like Jimmer wouldn’t be given carte blanche to shoot any shot he wanted on a new team. And he hasn’t. So why did…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/31/2014)
We deviate from regularly scheduled programming to deliver this important news bulletin: The Bucks ran a significant amount of offense through Giannis in the high post. This may be a better use of his talents then the ill-fated “make him a point guard” experiment. He’s tall enough and has good enough instincts to make good…
Read MoreLeandro Barbosa 17 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
Does Leandro Barbosa not totally look like Charles Barkley? He totally does. Just look at the thumbnail: it’s like I’m watching Inside the NBA and he and Kenny are sniping at each other and Shaq is just sitting there being awkward. Anyway, yeah, Leandro Barbosa. He can still score the rock a bit, and he…
Read MoreKyle Korver 19 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
The moniker “Spurs of the East” is tired and lame. Nobody wants to hear that lame stuff anymore. I have devised a new, bold moniker for the Hawks that perfectly encompasses the teamwork and ball movement that make up their system: “Hawksketball”. Stop laughing. You’re stupid. This is a good idea, and when I start…
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